#oh my gods stop telling me to kill 5 enemies i am One Player with No Alt Accounts i don’t wanna do 3 fights in a row

[oldestenemy]

can someone please tell me why khrysalis is so unbearably fucking long?

[doufuhua]

Resource tips when playing Genshin Impact, things the game won’t tell you.

I see a handful of new players, *cough* my mutuals *cough*, making mistakes when it comes to saving their resources and wasting their time by staying in a low world level.

Increasing your world level is always a good thing, when you increase your world level you have a better chance at getting larger and more better quality enemy drops, rewards from bosses, and artifacts. I understand there may be the fear of enemies in-game being too strong for your parties to handle, but players agree that accumulating your exp past the limit, like say AR25, is wasting your time, mora, and resin. Spending your resin at AR25 with accumulated exp, you are getting very low quality rewards in return with your world level 1 cap, when you could be getting much better rewards if you remove the cap and were in world level 4 for example. The jump in between enemy levels from world level 1 to 2 or 3 is not a huge gap to be honest, it’s not more than your characters can handle at level 40-50, it will take a little longer to defeat an enemy camp, but your party will survive. So, always remove your world level cap when you get the chance. If enemies really are difficult for you, co-op with someone at a higher AR, some are even willing to do the work for you because most high AR players are at endgame, bored with nothing to do, have your co-op join on and ask for help in your profile status. If the idea of co-op makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, you can descend one world level in the menu, but I find that when I ascend, not once have I considered going down one level, even when my party is 20 levels lower than enemy bosses.

(One of the things I regret doing while playing this game was not following the advice from above, I was AR25 accumulating a lot of exp and not ascending my world level. When I ascended my world level, I believe the cap was 3? is where I stopped. I realized the enemies were not as difficult to fight as they were in world level 1. I’ve been leveling my characters accordingly equal to the world level, by the way, farming for exp books is what you should be focusing on when you’re a lower world level, I will elaborate that on another point. My party at level 50 were actually fine against enemies at level 62 and above, if you fight smartly, dodging and using your elemental reactions correctly, you can defeat them. I lost some hp between each character and the fights took longer than usual but that wasn’t a big deal, upon realizing that, I then realized that I wasted my whole time staying at AR25. It was like a moment of clarity, “oh my god, I stayed AR25 for maybe 2 months for no reason at all...I could’ve gotten more and better materials all this time and level my characters even faster.” So after that, I kept increasing my world level, but every 1 or few weeks, because I was dumb, didn’t listen to any advice, and didn’t farm enough exp books for more than 1 party when I should be when I was a lower AR, I needed to farm more exp for at least 2 or 3 parties. So you see, I wasted time and energy grinding, trying to catch up at higher world levels because I stayed way past than I should be in world level 1. It’s unfortunate when I see players in forums saying they don’t want to ascend because they don’t want to deal with the difficulty, or sometimes there are some arrogant players even boasting staying at a lower world level, asking higher AR players, what’s the point of ascending. Maybe when I was in world level 1, I probably wouldn’t care and maybe even agree, but now that I’m AR54, I realize how wrong that mindset is, it felt really sucky realizing I wasted free time staying at AR25 when I could’ve been like AR45, because now I have to play catch up, get characters to level 70 or 80, so that means wasting more time again to farm on top of already wasted time, it’s like starting the game all over. The game is so much funner when you’re at a higher AR, it feels really nice being rewarded with high quality loot, and if you’re like me, the challenges makes the game more interesting, especially when you have figured out the mechanics by now.)

Focus on getting materials and not artifacts when you’re below AR45/world level 5. When you’re at a low AR level, you should prioritize your daily resin to farming mora/exp leylines and materials for character ascension/talents/weapons. You’ll realize the higher you upgrade your characters, the more exp and mora you’ll need to upgrade all ascensions. Like the chart says in the link, the chances you’ll get any high quality artifacts is extremely rare to impossible at lower world levels. At world level 6-8 (the average that most players playing since launch are at), no one is using 1-3 star artifacts (they’re used as fodder for 5 star ones, so save your 1-3 star artifacts and don’t level them), even most 4 star artifacts stay in their inventory. Every AR45+ player are equipping 5 star artifacts on their characters, because they give them the best stats boost for their dps carries at endgame. Supports can make use of the 4 star artifacts however, if you don’t have enough 5 star ones, because they don’t stay on the field as long as dps characters do, but when you do get enough 5 star artifacts for your supports, replace the 4 stars. I say artifact farming should be reserved for when you get to AR45. When you are at AR45, you unlock the restriction that allows you the chance to get 5 star artifacts. Note that the link in the first bullet point says you’re guaranteed at least one 5 star artifact, whichever artifact you’ll get will also be random, so you may not get the exact artifact that you’re looking for, at that point you just have to try again, domain farming is just like gacha. Players would argue whether you should start farming at AR45 or AR50, I am of the opinion that you start farming at 45 for a couple of reasons. First, you get 5 star artifacts early, second, even if your haul from farming are undesirable artifacts, you can use them as fodder for your eventual perfect 5 star artifact with the right stats, and you’re gonna need a lot of fodder to enhance the perfect one. You’re gonna be farming artifacts for quite awhile which I will explain in the next point. (tbe)

Save your fragile resins for artifact farming, save as much as you can because farming for them sucks so bad (rng). (tbe)

Prioritize what you should be leveling for your characters. What I think people don’t realize is, talents are very important to level up maybe more so than leveling your character’s levels. Leveling your characters only upgrades their base hp, def, atk, and special stat, pretty basic and standard. However, leveling your talents, determines how much dmg your character is outputting with their auto attacks, elemental skill, and burst. Everyone has their opinion but my belief is the order should go: ascend character but do not level to max -> level talents to max (at AR35, if not AR35, level weapons then talents) -> level weapons to max -> level artifacts (at AR45, if not AR 45, skip this) -> go back to leveling characters in order to ascend, and then repeat. As far as character role priority goes, I think everyone is aware you should invest in dps/hyper carries -> dps/sub-dps -> supports. (tbe)

Don’t max every stat for your characters, ie. character levels 90/90, talent levels 10/10, especially if you’re f2p, it is very mora costly and spreads your resources thin. You don’t need to be maxed out in order for your characters to be strong or stand a chance against enemies. As you can see from the second link, the power difference between a level 80 character vs. a level 90 character is a small increment, depending on the character’s multipliers, their increase in damage from 80 to 90 ranges from 1-4%. It doesn’t make a huge difference in gameplay. Stat increases start to slow down or get smaller when your character is ascending towards levels 70-90. Most players, especially f2p, who are trying to save as much resources as they can, invest in at least 8 characters/2 good teams to level 70 or 80 all the way towards endgame, because spiral abyss requires 2 teams. So f2p players have to spread out their resources evenly to 8 characters. If you are trying to get every character in your roster to reach level 90, you will burn out your resources very quickly. Say you’ve been playing and farming materials since launch and you’re leveling characters to 90, you most likely will get about 4 characters maxed while everyone else is too low level to make any damage. Another thing about ascensions is just that it is so costly, it costs up to hundred thousands of mora, on top of that, you spend more mora per level up and you have to do it for 8 characters, a few million mora can evaporate fairly quickly when you factor in crafting, forging, buying ingredients you can’t find in the wild, enhancing weapons/artifacts, and upgrading talents. For point of reference, at AR54 my dps characters are level 80/90 and my support characters are level 70/80, talent levels 6-8 for all (at AR54-55 however, you should have talents level 8/8/8 for dps or support at least, that is a good stopping point), most artifacts (5 stars) at level 20, weapons at level 80 or 90. My teams can take on enemies 10 or 20 levels above them just fine, it may take longer to kill an enemy but it’s more fun than one-shotting in my opinion. Talents are the same as ascensions but they are even more costly than ascensions, more time consuming to level up because they require enemy drops from weekly bosses, and the drops are rng, you’re not guaranteed the exact material you need for a specific character, it may even take weeks until you get the right material (in the 1.5 update however, there will be a converter given to players who want to exchange a material they have for something else, but there is no further info about this yet). The unfortunate thing about this game is that there is too much rng factoring into chance, this is the most common complaint in the community and even though many have sent feedback about this, nothing much has changed since launch, it’s just something you have bitterly swallow. Talents are still very important despite all this, don’t neglect them (Tip: whenever a character banner comes out and they allow you to have a trial with them, you should check their character screen, take a look at their stats, artifacts, weapons, talents, that’s usually a model you should aim for. A perfect example, in Xiao’s trial, Mihoyo made him level 80, gave him talent levels 8/8/8, and gave him 2 Viridescent and 2 Gladiator 5 star artifacts to fight level 90 enemies for testing, and that is the exact set I see a lot of Xiao users in-game and on youtube used after his trial, they all just followed what Mihoyo set up for him). Always max out your weapons, there is no downside to this, your characters gain stat bonuses from them and get stronger, the best thing about it is that you don’t have to spend resin for it, you just have to mine ore as a daily routine. Take advantage of the adventurer expeditions, always keep on top of it, and always assign characters to get ore or mora.

There are some exceptions to maxing out your characters, however. Some people have their favorite characters up to level 90 with crowned talents (level 10), that’s totally fine, mainly the reason they would do that is because they love this particular character a lot, they love their playstyle and don’t plan on ever benching them soon. Youtubers like to show off their maxed out characters as a flex, you don’t have to follow their actions though, it’s not mandatory. Only max out a character because it’s personal for you, don’t think it’s like “oh I have to reach the max because that’s required to play the game,” it’s not that. Another reason for maxing is that maybe this character is a hypercarry and their multipliers are too good to ignore if they were at 90, for example, Hu Tao is a special case, she is a hypercarry and has the lowest base stats with average multipliers I believe, of all released characters, but her Staff of Homa makes up for that by giving her an insane crit damage boost (62%), but for a Hu Tao player who doesn’t have Staff of Homa, the sound of her at level 90 to give her a boost sounds appealing to them. If you’d like a model to follow by, the recommended levels I suggest for endgame would be - DPS: level 80/90 (level 80 ascended), talent levels 8/8/8 at least; 9/9/9 if you can, weapon level 90/90, 5 star artifacts at maxed level (look for crit rate/damage stats on each artifact). Supports/Sub-DPS: level 60/70 (level 60 ascended) or level 70/80 (level 70 ascended) respectively, talent levels 6/6/6 (supports); 7/7/7; 8/8/8 (sub-dps), weapon level 90/90, 5 star artifacts at maxed level (sub-dps), 4 star at maxed is ok (supports), but majority should be 5 stars like 1:4 or 2:3 (look for crit rate/damage, energy recharge, elemental mastery, and depending on what the character scales with, attack, hp, and defense stats). Follow what suits you best by taking a look at the first link.

Prioritize your support/sub-dps characters over dps characters. (tbe)

[queensparklekitten]

A raid from the POV of a villager. Inspired by the raid I just fought off in Minecraft. 

(contains mentions of blood and murder) 

When your iron golem died in battle some days ago while the local player was in the nether, it’s scary enough to see a zombie. 

But a zombie is desirable compared to a small group of pillagers across the river from here, brandishing crossbows and fully ready to slaughter us all. 

We’re a small village, and even though I’m a weaponsmith, none of us are really capable of combat. My job isn’t useless, however, as the girl in enchantment-glittering diamond armor proves time and time again when she sells me tons of coal and iron ingots for cheap prices. I’m a journeyman by now, and she’s helped me with it a lot. 

Speaking of her, I hope she comes here soon. The pillagers know where our village is, and our iron golem is dead, which... is not a good combination. Were the player here, she could kill the pillagers, or sell me more iron to make a new golem, or- 

"Well this sure wasn’t what i was expecting from this trip, but okay.” 

I recognize that voice. It’s her. 

Dear lord, what a relief. I’ve seen her bludgeon a zombie to death with a wooden shovel. She’ll have no trouble against a few pillagers with that diamond sword... hold on. Her sword wasn’t black before. 

No. Freaking. Way. She has a netherite sword. I’ve heard of netherite, and I believed it was real and felt vindicated when she excitedly told us that she found some, but hearing about netherite and seeing it for yourself are two different things. 

I can’t help but watch as she fights the pillagers. She takes a few arrows, but within several minutes, she’s slaughtered them all. The last one she kills is the tallest one, which drops something on the ground. From across the river, I can’t tell what it is, but she seems to know, since she picks it up and stares at it for a minute. 

“Oh god. She didn’t!” 

I notice for the first time the librarian next to me, watching the player place down the item. From where she places it, I can see it better now: A banner of some kind, with what looks like a pillager face on it. 

I realize that pillager wasn’t very tall after all- it just had a banner on its head. But wait, didn’t I hear somewhere that’s a bad omen? 

As if hearing my thoughts, the librarian responds. “Raids almost always happen after a player arrives, and they usually have a banner that looks exactly like that!”

“Wait, are you saying we’re going to get raided? But the iron golem is dead!” 

The librarian points to the player. She’s standing still, looking at us from across the river, taking out golden apples and her crossbow. Preparing for battle. 

“Oh shit.” 

She runs into the village, golden apple in hand. 

The farmer must have seen too, because he’s running towards the bell, and rings it like crazy. The librarian rings it too, right before the player arrives, frantically ringing the bell so hard it’s almost horizontal, screaming at us to get inside now in what I can tell is panic. She doesn’t stop ringing the bell. Getting the hint, I run into the nearest building and shut the door behind me, making sure to not be visible from the window. 

A few minutes later, the bell-ringing stops. I hear the sound of a horn in the distance. 

Trying to stay as far away as possible from the window, I listen to the sounds of battle. Arrows hitting shields, pillagers and the player and the librarian all screaming over each other, fighters falling backwards and eventually the unmistakable sound of something being killed with a very sharp object. A moment later, I hear that sound again, but slightly different. And again, but slightly different again. 

And then approaching sounds of faint panting. Something catching its breath. 

I don’t hear any more pillagers. Is the raid over already? 

I take the chance to look out the window. The player is standing there, blood on her chestplate, arrows strewn around her on the floor, the dead bodies of pillagers near her. No alive ones in sight. I see others leaving their houses, so I leave the building. No arrows fly towards me. 

Did she win that fast? Holy crap! Netherite really IS as powerful as they say- 

“Why are you outside? The raid’s not done!” 

“But you killed them all-” 

“That was only the first wave.” 

She rings the bell again, golden apple in hand. “Get back inside! It’s not safe yet! Get back inside! It’s not safe yet!” 

I run towards the first building I see. The fletcher must have seen that same building, because they’re running towards it as fast as I am. The player is following them. I can see why. Everyone with half a brain can tell the fletcher is the player’s favourite member of this village. They dip her arrows in poison for only one or two emeralds per 5 arrows. She can’t get enough of the poison arrows. Obviously, her only source of them needs to be well-protected. 

The minute the fletcher gets inside, the player takes out the first block she can get to start barricading- wait, no! I’m not in yet! 

I speed up, charging for the house as fast as I can, my legs hurting and my mind racing. I scream to her, telling her to wait up, and dive into the house the moment she places a netherrack block in front of the door, blocking us from getting out and the raiders from getting in. The fletcher slams the door, and I collapse on the bed, gasping and panting. 

“Oh my god... a millisecond to spare and I would have been locked out with the raiders!” 

As I try to collect myself, I hear the horn again, and the second wave begins. 

The fletcher is looking out the window, so I decide to take a peek too, see what’s going on out there. I can see them. Most of them wield crossbows, save for one, wearing a banner and carrying an iron axe. I don’t see the player. She’s most likely barricading the rest of us indoors. 

Then I hear someone scream for help. 

It’s the farmer, still outside, looking for a house to hide in- oh god. He’s much closer to the pillagers than the only thing currently capable of defending us is. 

I run to the door to look for the player. I see her through the acacia door right as she turns to where she heard the scream, and runs towards the raiders as another scream goes up, netherite sword gleaming with enchantment and a mix of fear and fury in her eyes- 

She stops running. 

I run to the window. What I see makes me want to scream myself. 

The farmer is dead on the ground, arrows stuck in him in four different places. 

The fletcher actually does scream. I cover their mouth, and they begin to break down crying. The fletcher and the farmer were always hanging out, chatting before work and sometimes staying in the same house. Now one of them is dead, and the other may well soon be. 

As I’m hiding under the blankets with the fletcher, I hear a loud enraged growl, as if from some kind of wild animal I’ve never seen before. I assume the raiders have brought some sort of beast, but then I hear the voice of the player coming from where that growl was. Only lower, and overflowing with fury. The same voice that made that sound from before. 

“You BASTARDS.” 

I look out the window in time to see her charge. She swings her sword and blocks arrow after arrow with her shield, hitting raider after raider. The one with the iron axe hits her shield right, and it seems to stop working for a moment, causing her to take a hit from an arrow, then one from the axe, then a couple more arrows. She swings her sword again and then runs. 

Wait, what? She ran? But she’s our defender, why is she running? How badly did she get hurt from the arrows? 

She returns a moment later, surrounded by the pink haze of regeneration. 

Ah. Golden apple break. 

This time, she places another netherrack block, and jumps to place another beneath her, towering up and up until I can’t see her anymore. 

A moment later, arrows rain from the netherrack tower, the poison tipping them getting into the raiders’ blood and taking effect immediately. Not even a minute later, she’s breaking her tower to get back down to the now weakened enemies. 

“Hey, look! She’s avenging him! And she used your arrows!” 

The fletcher looks up, and looks out the window just in time to see the player dismember a pillager before collecting her missed arrows and stabbing another pillager. 

I cannot describe the sound the fletcher made. But I can describe the sound that came after that- namely, their screaming that the pillager deserved it for FUCKING MURDERING HIM, before starting to cry again. 

The player finishes off the third pillager and runs off to get the raider with the axe, who had run off while she was on the tower. 

The two of us hide from the window, the violence we witnessed playing on loop in our heads, shaking and thinking maybe we should try looking out the window again to see what’s going on and not looking out the window again and wondering what will happen if this raid lasts until night and hugging pillows until the moment we hear another horn sound. 

I hear more carnage outside. I don’t want to look at what’s happening out there, but part of me wants to. I want to see what exactly is going on. Or maybe I just want to see a netherite sword in action. I am a weaponsmith, after all, and after enough time working with weapons, you begin to really love the stronger ones, admire the beauty of a shining sword made of black metal excavated from the Nether itself and fused with gold. Or maybe I just want assurance that the player isn’t dead. Even if she can cheat death, she’d still have to return here from her base, giving the enemy plenty of time to do whatever they want. 

What makes me give in to the urge to look outside is hearing a roar that I know was not from the player. 

I look in the direction of the roar and see what made it, and instantly wish I hadn’t. What the hell is that thing. 

It’s enormous, that’s for sure. And it has horns, and appears to be saddled with some form of armor. And its face... its face is far too much like ours for anything that isn’t our species. The eyes are almost the same, the eyebrows, the nose, the only thing making its face look different from those of your average villager or pillager is the dark gray complexion and its enormous jaws with sharp teeth. 

It roars, and the sound itself seems to knock the player backwards, throwing her into the center of the village. She cries for the iron golem before remembering it’s dead, and realizing she has no choice but to kill this thing herself. 

She loads up a poison arrow in her crossbow and fires at the monster’s creepy face. A direct hit. The thing doesn’t go down. 

I go back to hiding and listening as arrows are shot and both raiders and the player take damage. As the battle rages on outside, I start wondering why the player came here at all if she knew we would get raided if she didn’t turn back. Was there a reason she couldn’t go home? 

I get so caught up in thinking about this I don’t even notice when the sounds of battle stop until the door opens. The player is standing there, covered in blood. I can’t tell how much of it is her own and how much belonged to the raiders. 

“It’s safe to come out now. We won.” 

As everyone comes out from the houses they took shelter in, one by one we take in the scene. 

The streets are red and littered with the bodies of pillagers, some of them dismembered or sliced clean in half or decapitated. There are small puddles of poison where the missed arrows landed, and at least one damaged crossbow lying on the ground. One of the corpses is of that massive beast I saw, with at least five arrows stuck in it. And standing in the middle of it all is the player, panting in exhaustion, looking like she’s about to collapse. 

“Holy crap...” 

“Well someone’s gotta clean that up.” 

“You saved us!” 

That last one gets repeated. And... they’re right. She saved us. She saved us all.

The librarian sets off a blue firework, blazing bright against the red sunset, and the village rejoices. 

“Hey, it’s getting dark, and it takes a while to get home, you guys mind if I crash here?” asks the player. 

“Sure! You can stay wherever you want.” 

She enters the nearest house and collapses from exhaustion almost immediately. 

The next morning, the dead bodies have been moved away and the player has collected the saddle. We insist she not help us, but she says she should, and we can’t argue with her. 

The whole village is offering her discounts for heroism, and she trades and trades with us. By the end of the day, she’s sold every iron ingot she currently has on her, and made tons of paper for the express purpose of selling it. 

I overhear her conversation with the fletcher. 

“I’m sorry for your loss... you don’t need to give me discounts. I understand if you’re mad at me for failing to save him.” 

“It wasn’t your fault, it was the raiders. And you did avenge him. I think it’s perfectly reasonable that you only pay 22 sticks for an emerald.” 

“Well in that case, I suppose. Oh yeah, by the way, I could not have defeated that ravager without poison arrows. Those things are made to fight iron golems, even with full diamond armor they’re super hard for a player to beat.” 

“You want more poison arrows? That’ll be one emerald for five poison arrows.” 

“Hell yeah I want more poison arrows.” 

Ravager, huh. Is that what that thing was? 

That afternoon, the village gathers in the center, along with the player and our brand new iron golem. We talk about one thing only: the raid. And somehow, the discounts have evolved into free stuff- for everyone. 

It starts with the armorer giving the player a free chainmail chestplate, which the player reacts in excitement to despite having an enchanted diamond one. Then the fletcher gives her some arrows. 

The player herself, meanwhile, has baked us all some bread. 

“Free bread! Free bread for everyone! Who wants free bread!” 

I take the bread. I also give her a free stone axe, which she accepts at once, saying she could use something to chop down a tree with for more sticks to sell and apples to make golden. I even see her using it later on, and feel a swell of pride knowing that the hero of the village is using the axe I gave her. 

A baby villager is born soon afterwards, and the player gets a free chainmail helmet and boots to go with that chestplate, plus two free books, though she continues to trade with us. 

As I’m wandering the village looking for something to do, I spot her by the small sugar cane farm she set up on the beach next to the village. She’s holding the banner from earlier, as well as a few more. 

“Collected some of these from the raiders. Don’t see much use for them.” 

She throws the banners into the ocean, and returns to the village. She’s humming a song I’ve heard her hum before. 

“Do you ever hear it?” 

I can tell at once what she’s referring to. The player speaks of hearing beautiful music from everywhere at once, as if the world itself is singing to her. You can always tell when that is even when she doesn’t hum along, because she often appears to be on the verge of tears. 

Normally, we never hear this music she speaks of. 

But in this moment, if I try to hear it, I can. 

[theawesomeally]

Before We Met (Preview)

Prologue

In a world inhabited by mythic creatures, love was commonplace several millennia ago, though difficult to master. After his training advances over the decades, his powers became obsolete and were largely discarded.

[The camera zooms in on the city and two blazing specks of light dash all over the place as one shoots lasers at the other. We then see an enemy aircraft flying throughout while it's chasing a young man, who is running from the pursuer. We see full closeups of a guy in his craft and Rocky as he runs. The scene freezes after an explosion with Rocky barely missing it.]

[voice over]

Through the years I have been known by many names. Marshmallow, The Furry Lover, The Daredevil, Frisky Two Times and then The amazing Ryan Reynolds. But to most, I am Rocky, the awesome one!

[Some other women, leaning across the wall, and Rocky getting his shades from his pocket. Put it onto his eyes. While he puts his hoodie onto his shoulders. Rocky was dressed like a gentleman, but he fought with honor or dignity and pulled at the knot into his tie. Females are not meant to grab his attention, and if it does. To be fair, he heard most of what he'd said up to this point. The parts that weren't of his interest, anyway.

Okay, maybe that wasn't much]

His sigh is heavy with exasperation,

"Can you keep your dick in your pants at the gala?"

Grab his phone from his pocket, automatically switching it out of Bluetooth mode, and bring his earphone up to his ear.

I will never forget you, Margarita. [The female stops and cringe after hearing the name. His blue prominent eyes were not well adapted to winking. They were rather of the sort that closes solemnly in slumber with majestic effect.

Rocky pretend to consider as Rocky step out of the car and button his tux jacket. "Hmm."

"Nice wheels, sir," the valet says, unconcerned that he was on the phone. Rocky pull out his wallet and flash a fifty-dollar bill. "Take care of her and this is yours."

"Yes, Mr. Rocky."

"I mean, Rosa. Uh...sorry. I think maybe I should go.???." She wrapped her arms over her chest and shook her head with a smirk curved across her face. Rocky grinned and raised an ironical finger in salute Rocky starts backing away. "You can't get away with it." the security guard muttered, holding out one hand. He was moving very slowly, thinking Rocky was the enemy or something. Blinks at her as a farewell, but glance with a smug as he sees the vampire's ring. Mind was so wrapped up in thought that he didn't notice the familiar vampire standing behind him. A vampire with bad breath psycho. "Hey, come on, dickie! You're trashing public property here!" He is thinking about how he had to sneaked up onto the roof and is currently standing a few feet behind him.

Rocky then gently slides the ring off the vampire's finger using his katana.

Light glinted off a myriad of his Katana and the vampire ring. Spray from the dust to blew up into his face, but sweat more than seawater moistened his palms as he gripped the eagle. His eyes were as blue while the vampires eyes were cold as the stormy weather.

"Hey, it's Gale calling," says Rocky called over his shoulder to one nefarious vampire. "Love the shiny suit. Really brings out the sex trafficker in your eyes." Rocky had commented, half jokingly and straight up confident, how that guy would have been considered handsome - if he ever bothered to smile.

Cut to a shot of a cliff.

A grim expression again carved itself into the soldier's face as he gazed up at the jeering vampires, their bodies smeared with blood, upon the cliff tops. Even the most cowardly of tribes in Gaul would fancy its chances from such advantageous ground, one being was mused. The sound of their jeers was occasionally accompanied by the high pitched swish of an arrow, as the odd archer tried his luck. Invariably the missile would zip harmlessly into the sea, or at best a thud could be heard as it struck as a human shield or the solid surface of the earth.

Cut back to the fighting scene. Rocky is skewering a guy with his swords, and kicks the vampire in the chest, sending him back down and puts his sword away. The guy gasp and starts fighting with Rocky. This continues for awhile until Rocky get's away again. Using two fingers he salute the vampire as a goodbye.

Making a soft chuckle. He flicks the vampire ring up into the air. It comes back down and lands into one of the streets, causing his background to explode. The shards of fire fell in slow motion behind him.

He is consumed in the explosion, as his body can be seen flying off the ground, flipping off the camera as it goes. "Oh, fuck." Rocky mutter under his breath. "Oh, I'm sorry." A small apology leaving his lips with a smirk.

"That will teach you, not to mess with me," A familiar voiced ask, up righting his head as he walk over the circles and appeared in front of him,

(narrator)

So, I know what you're thinking. Why is that incredibly handsome guy being chased by a madman with a huge shiny fangs from the Civil War?

[The scene freezes after an explosion sending Rocky flying off the ground from the ground. After the dust settles, leaving Rocky lying unconscious on the ground.]

This guy's got the right idea. Well, to be honest, it feels like I've been the captain of my whole life. Is this too much? Am I going too fast? It's kind of what I do--You know what? Let's back up.

[We see the whole fight going in reverse as well as frames of future clips for a split second each time, one passes as Rocky mimics a rewind sound effect] Cut to close-up of Rocky gets up to his feet. Cut to him sitting on the side of the gable roof at night. Wondering how long it would be before he saw the city again. He had been born with a wandering heart, and he embraced adventure, unafraid to face the dangers often presented by journeys into unknown places. Leaving civilization behind for the wilds of the frozen north, legs dangling over the side as he listens to his Walkman next to him playing 'Shoop.' Rocky was vaguely singing along, making hand gestures along with the lyrics, but he was focused on his own drawing, while listening to the music and coloring a picture with crayons. We see that the picture he's drawing is him shooting the vampire in the head, he was doing it with some crayons he had with him.

It was fun to see that getting shot in the head, even if it was just a crayon drawing. He'd never soon change it to a reality. And then turned his head and stared directly at the camera, or the person reading, or just whoever balls happened to be paying a lot of attention to him.

Wha- Oh! Oh, hello. I know, right? Who's balls did I have to snap to get my very own story? I can't tell you, but it does rhyme with dick. And let me tell you; he's got a nice pair of fucking underwear, he finished in an Swedish accent.

They'd get that joke, right?

Anyway, I got places to be, a kiss in the ass to fix, and - oh! hot weird vampire to kill.

He watched eagerly as the flashes of light began to appear below him – lots of rippers were a very dramatic little shit, after all – we're panning quickly towards the edge of the roof he was sitting on. Now having an appointment to keep, Rocky was quick to get onto edge of the roof and, in one fluid motion, opens a music playlist called Tunes of Anarchy on his Walkman, and the song "Where Evil Grows" by The Poppy Family stays playing in the background as he jumped off the roof, landing in one of the coolest bar in Mystic Falls. It seemed that they had been drinking peacefully, listening to 'Angel of the Morning,' but when Rocky landed and that's when their peaceful night was over.

They look around for which they finally see as Rocky stands at a wooden doorway wearing a cowboy hat, black sunglasses, and red a white hoodie as he opens a music playlist called Tunes of Anarchy on his Walkman. Opens up and the door swings open and the music resumes with people dancing and lights flashing as he goes inside the bar.

Nothing.

Absolutely positively not a fucking thing.

First one person turned, noticing him. Then more followed, until the whole patron was hushed, waiting. Everyone was watching, the same bewildered look on all of their faces. Eyebrows raised and narrowed eyes, etc. God, for months he'd played this moment over and over inside his mind. It most definitely never turned out like this. Whatever this was.

As he walks up to the bar. The room was narrow and about 90 feet deep. Light did manage to worm its way into the establishment, though. It seeped through the windows scattered along the walls, and through the gaps in the door between its wooden panels. A bar on the left at the front, then some upholstered horseshoe benches, then a cluster of freestanding tables on what, on other nights, might have been a dance floor. Then the stage, with the band on it. The band looked as if it had been put together by accident after a misfiling incident at a talent agency. The bass player was a stout old black guy in a suit with a vest. He was plucking away at an upright bass fiddle. The drummer could have been his uncle. He was a big old guy sprawled comfortably behind a small, simple kit. The singer was also a harmonica player and was older than the bass player and younger than the drummer and bigger than either one.

The guitarist was completely different. He was young and white and small. Maybe 20, maybe 5-foot-6, maybe 130 pounds. He had a fancy blue guitar wired to a crisp new amplifier and together the instrument and the electronics made sharp sounds full of space and echoes. The amp must have been turned up to 11. The sound was incredibly loud. It was as if the air in the room was locked solid. It had no more capacity for volume. But the music was good. The three black guys were old pros, and the white kid knew all the notes, and when and how and in what order to play them. He was wearing a red T-shirt and black pants and white tennis shoes. He had a very serious expression on his face. He looked foreign. Maybe Russian.

I watched them for a minute, and then I looked away. My name is Rocky, and once I was the most wanted man, with heavy emphasis on the past tense. I have been out nearly as long as I was in. But old habits die hard. I had stepped into the bar the same way I always step anywhere, which is carefully. One-thirty in the morning. I had ridden the train to West and walked south on Sixth Avenue and made the left turn on San Francisco bar and checked the sidewalks. I wanted music, but not the kind that drives large numbers of patrons outside to smoke.

His attention was taken away from patrons. It was at that point that he saw the young beautiful woman alone at her table, Her name tag read Katy, and her shirt clung tightly around her chest. Her hands worked quickly and gracefully with the bottles as she poured them another and took the empty's away.

I watched her in the gaudy, reflected light, with the music shrieking and pounding all around me. The two guys watched her. Her bodyguard watched her. She watched the guitarist. He was concentrating hard, key changes and choruses, but from time to time he would lift his head and smile, mostly at the glory of being up on the stage, but twice directly at the girl. The first of those smiles was shy, and the second was a little wider.

What met my eyes was a beautiful girl with golden hair and a bright smile that melted my heart. She was blond and blue-eyed, American woman who have a glow, and a smoothness complexion. She lives in New York, singing, listening to a band, and I was in love with her angelic voice. That was clear. There I was, a guy further back in the room, stood in the room staring at her. I was 6ft tall, wide man with a white hoodie and a black leather jacket under a hoodie. She was part of the reason I was here with her back in a city when we were at the age of 19 or less.

It wasn't the kind of glossy place that had a policy about dating rich girls, either for or against. Some call it a gold digger, and I guessed they had looked at her and her minder and made a snap decision against trouble and in favor of tips.

The part of her gaze that wasn't wary was filled with adoration, and it was all aimed in his direction. She was rich. She was alone at a table near the stage and she had a pile of A.T.M fresh twenties in front of her and she was paying for each new bottle with one of them and she wasn't asking for change.

She was a waitress and I loved her.

The woman stood up. She butted the lip of her table with her thighs and shuffled out from behind it and headed for the counter in back. I got there first. The sound from the band howled through it. The ladies' room was halfway down. The men's room was all the way at the end. Rocky leaned on the wall and scanned the room. As Rocky watched her walk in and squeeze through the crowd and she sat down on the bar stool, 1 feet away from him.

"Hey, Raoul, look what this kid dragged in. Oh, wait! That is the guy!," but they didn't hear. Too much noise. He caught them by the elbows, one in each hand. They spun around, as if ready to fight, but then they stopped. Fortunately for him, the first two who approached her were quick to heed her dismissal. She wasn't there to mingle with huge ass in leather jackets. She was just there to grab a drink and relax and pretty sure she made that pretty clear when she shot the first couple of idiots down.

The third guy, however, wasn't ready to take no for an answer.

"How about you let me buy you a drink, sweetheart?"

Their sex appeal eyes pried upon their eyes from the television screen above the bar and looked at the newcomer. With his hair greased back and one-size-too-big biker jacket on, the guy looked like prime wife-beater material. Perfect. Just what they needed to interrupt his evening.

"Thanks, but I'm good," she said curtly, gesturing to the beer bottle in front of her.

"That's it? You're gonna chug that shitty beer and call it a night? Come on, let me get you a real drink."

She scoffed. "What? Like those idiots you got over there?" she glanced past him at the table where he and a couple of his friends had been sitting.

"It's a warm-up. Trust me, honey, we're just getting started over there. You should join us."

She wanted to roll her eyes. "Like I said, I'm good."

She made the move to turn away and focus her attention back on the football game on the television when the guy grabbed her by the arm.

"What the hell's your problem?" This guy gripped her arm tightly, this guy's face practically scrunched up in a beastly snarl. "I don't like to be ignored, y'know?"

She yanked her arm out of his grip and stood up to face him directly. She knew pretty damn well where the conversation was headed and sure as hell were not about to get in a bar fight with their ass glued to the seat.

Before she could open her mouth, a familiar voice spoke up from behind her.

By hearing it and raising their head to turn to his voice, her smile grew a tad wider, recognizing the voice immediately. They simply looked so annoyed, at least much more than usual. His lips pulled into a tight frown, while their eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, back hunched over slightly if you'd look hard enough. Yep, those guys are just being grumpy as usual, but seemingly much more grumpy, except with their eyes laced with the slightest bit of concern. For herself, most likely.

The said person stopped, and looked over their shoulder to the voice. She put on a mellow look close to her usual one. Confrontation- unnecessary confrontation- was not exactly his thing. He tended to avoid fights like these. He could hold his ground better than most, but he preferred to keep out of the brawls and spats that others got involved in.

A voice caught his ear, she sounded like she needed help, despite the overconfident tone the stranger used. "Look, I don't wanna interrupt, but is this guy bothering you?" he looks up at her and says greeted casually, as casual as someone could be hanging for dear life. She looked up at me, startled that he was there. "I'm sorry. Did I scare you up?" he softly asked, when she turned to get a good look at the stranger in his handsome voice. She wasn't expecting the sight she was met with. A pair of piercing blue eyes smiled over her, puffing out her cheeks childishly when she looked at him. After she looked to her right to find Rocky taking his place beside her. Her pinkish lips turned up in a small smile as she ducked her head briefly with a laugh before tucking her hair behind her ear, "No, you did not," she said. He couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice. She turned her head to look at him, catching his gaze with her own. He gave a small smile, stroking her hair softly with his index. "So, What exactly are you doing here?" she said softly, trying to maintain an even tone of voice.

"Oh you know, I was just passing through the neighborhood when I thought I caught a whiff of filthy human garbage coming from this place," he said,

"And sure enough here I am."

Desire pools dark and deadly in his groin. Gaze up at her, releasing her lip. Katy flush a deep crimson in her cheeks, and he runs his index finger down her cheek before handing her the headphones. "I'd like to kiss you, too, but you won't let me down, are you?." Rocky asked her. Besides, he's pulled the straps so tight he can barely move.

Amused smile on his lips, he's wearing his enigmatic half smile. He glances down at her, light blue-gray eyes alive, he glances up when she looks at his way and their eyes lock. And in that brief moment, she was paralyzed, staring at the impossibly handsome man who gazes at her with some unfathomable emotion. His gaze hot, burning into her, as they lost for a moment staring at each other.

It's there in the air between them, that electricity. It's palpable. He can almost taste it, pulsing between them, drawing them together.

"Oh my," she gasps as she basks briefly in the intensity of this visceral, primal attraction. The two men stood back, saying nothing, but looking at him with hard eyes.

Katy had, somehow, stammered out some sort of reply that must have made her look insane. Coby, hearing her, had come over to check on her and had ended up having her go make Rocky's a drink while they chatted. Ever since that first meeting, though, Katy had completely fallen for Rocky. There was something about his smile, or maybe it was his eyes? Whatever it was, it made Katy's entire body feel light as a feather.

To be continued....

[ambered-glazed-sheep]

Please do go on about Doomslayer and his morals. I'm legit fascinated by him since starting the let's play I'm watching and I'd love to hear your take on him (I know literally nothing about the Doom franchise other than lots of blood and violence against demons and also badass music)

You know, a year ago when my friends asked me 'hey do you wanna play minecraft' and i said 'yeah sure' i would have never thought i would one day have a minecraft sideblog where i get questions about the personality of the main character of a shooter fps game (of all things!) that is known for its incredible violence.

But here you go:

(prepare yourself this has gotten way longer than i thought oh god, and also it has nothing to do with hermits whatsoever. warnings for language and descriptions of violence? and i assume the readmore won’t be working the way i want it to)

Ok so, Doom!

First of all, i know nothing about the old games, and i’ve only seen a minimal amount of Doom Eternal Letsplays. Most of this is based on Doom (2016). 

Ok so we all start out thinking Doomguy! It’s the guy you play in Doom. The hand that hold the gun YOU are shooting demons with. And sure, you can go trough the whole game with that mindset, but that’s boring and we are overthinking fictional characters in this house.

ID software actually managed to give Doomguy/Doomslayer a TON of personality despite him never saying a word, barely any cutscenes to show what he does when you don’t control him (at least in Doom 2016), and not a lot of other characters to interact with despite enemy monsters.

The game just leaves you little hints and snippets and that’s what makes Doomslayer so exciting to think about. Just the right levels between ‘cryptid half-god who never shows emotion and is a player-insert’ and ‘this dude’s got an AGENDA. he has PLACES TO BE’. You are him as you play, but sometimes he makes decisions on his own. But personally, i could never find myself to disagree.

First, you got the intro sequence. 

You got a unknown voice telling you: 

“They are rage. Brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

First of all, YO. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

The scene immediately shifts to Doomslayer waking up. He’s naked, he’s chained down somewhere, theresa SHIT TON of scars littering his arms and hands. First thing HE does, on his own behalf, is ripping off the chains by flexing a little (literal iron chains!!!), smashing a zombies head against the sarcophagus he lays in and completely obliterating said head into a bit of blood (mind you, three seconds after he woke up from a thousands of years long coma!! but we only learn that later), and then promptly gets up, picks up a pistol, and now it’s your, the players turn. This takes like 8 seconds in total. This man means BUSINESS. That’s the first thing we learn.

Second thing that strikes me is the interactions with Samuel Hayden. 

Doomslayer is patient when a computer voice tells him the status of the base. He is patient as he looks at the screens to see what is going on. (a demonic invasion, thats what). But then dear Dr. Samuel Hayden calls. 

Dr. Hayden says “Hi, i’m the boss here, i’m sure we can work together in a way that benefits us both uwu”. Doomslayer immediately grabs the PC screen and pushes it aside. His gesture says, i’m done with this. im sick of this dude. this guy is full of shit. And he’s right! And that after barely hearing two sentences from Hayden!

So the second thing we learn is that he has no time for people trying to exploit him. He hears Hayden, he has a gut feeling that this dude is a little fishy, maybe he just plain doesnt like higher ups and heads of facilities. But we learn that he IS. NOT. going to listen to this man, and his body language makes that very clear without being actually violent against the person (he doesnt destroy the Screen either! just pushes it aside very annoyed. He isn’t mindlessly destroying property here.)

This continues. 

Hayden goes ‘hey maybe don’t destroy that energy source!’ in the few seconds you dont control him, Doomslayer listens. He hesitates. He considers. Then he destroys the thing anyways. Hayden keeps telling him to stop, but Doomslayer doesnt listen. He’s got his own mind!

This was mostly about Haydens Company, the UAC, harvesting hell energy, and hurting people in the process. 

There’s a scene where Doomslayer rides an elevator. Hayden, over the comms, tells him that everyone that has died in the demon attack was a nacessary sacrifice that will bring a new future or some shit like that. the camera pans down to show some poor sods corpse at those very words. Doomslayer cracks his knuckles. he is NOT HAPPY about that, so we know he doesnt like it when human lifes are sacrificed. He destroys the communicator, so he doesnt have to listen to Haydens voice telling him lies and trying to sway him anymore. 

(then he takes out his shotgun, the doors open, metal starts playing and the doom logo is shown, but that’s more about making the player feel epic than showing doomslayers personality,,)

Now i would like to talk about VEGA, the AI that controls the mars facility. 

VEGA occasionally talks to us/the Slayer. He is very straightforward, tells us what to do and why to do it, and is generally very polite. In the story, Doomslayer listens to Vega. 

Now why does he listen to VEGA but not Hayden? 

I think it’s because Hayden tries to get him to do things that just benefit him, and Hayden is very manipulative in his words (or tries to be lol), while Vega just says (if you destroy this thing, that door will open. I think Doomslayer appreciates it when people are honest to him.

And in the end, Doomslayer on his own decides to save a backup of VEGA. VEGA didn’t ask him to, Doomslayer did that on his own. It’s not relevant to his mission, he doesnt need VEGA to go to hell to close portals and whatnot. But he does save him. Why? I think it’s because he cares. Because he’s come to like VEGA. Because Vega didn’t try to manipulate him and screw him over. 

Next up is the Slayers Testament. 

These are a bunch of writings/recordings that you find scattered in the hell levels. (i highly recommend listening to them/reading them, they are metal as fuck and give me such an immense feeling of power bc they are talking about me, the doomslayer)

These testaments were written by demons. They were genuinely afraid of the slayer. 

Quote:

Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.

As said, i don’t think these are purely talking about his physical strength. They are talking about his... well, mentality. His Codex. They see him as an unstoppable force. He is incorruptible. Let that sink in. Man walks trough hordes of demons and at no point ever thinks ‘yeah maybe this is a bit much’ or ‘they just keep coming this is pointless’. No. He’s unyielding. (Can you tell how much i love the words in these testaments? It’s just got such a nice ring to it.)

In battle, the Doomslayer is BRUTAL. He tears apart demons, rips their eyes out, all that. He stomps on heads like they’re water balloons and isn’t fazed at all. Nothing stops this man. (except players like me who fall off the map 5 consecutive times, but lets just imagine the doomslayer is actually like he would be if someone played the game perfectly. player skill shouldn’t be considered in my headcanons jahdjhgd) One could even argue he has fun at this, because there are some animations like ripping off a zombies arm and beating the Zombie with it, or feeding a demon it’s own heart.

I feel like that says a lot about his personality as well!

He doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t question his cause! He fights to get rid of the demons, not just the ones in his way, but every. demon. He will go out of his way to kill more demons. You could either take this as him having fun, or him following his own moral codex to get rid of every demon, or him being a not-quite-human war machine, or wanting to protect humanity from them. 

I would say it’s a healthy mix of all that :D

In older games, there was this whole backstory snippet of him returning to earth, finding that the demons had invaded his planet but also killed his pet rabbit (Daisy), and he then goes onto a 2-game long revenge trip.Take that as you will.

The last thing i would like to mention is this post.

Please watch the video. Doomguy walks trough the rows of random human guards. This is the walk of a man who doesn’t owe them SHIT. Yes, he wants to save humanity. Yes, he cares. But he also knows who he is. He knows what he did, and what he will do. He doesn’t have to justify himself in front of these shady scientists and jerky guards.THEY owe HIM, in fact. This video emits the sheer CONFIDENCE of someone who has walked trough hell multiple times and knows none of these people could even touch him. Yes, he would never kill them. He would not harm humans. But he doesn’t care about making them uncomfortable with his presence, either. He doesnt ask for permission.

(i think by now i am using the exact same words they did in that post. really, its worth the read. i think there’s a lot of repeated things between this post and that post by now but i encourage you to watch that video. its worth it.)

Also, the impact he has on the people in this room! they trip. they walk backwards. they go quiet, stutter. they are intimidated. They know he’s technically here to help and save them, but now, standing in front of them.... just wow. it really puts things into perspective. it tells the player that all the demons that he’s killed, all that the doomslayer has done... its noted. it has an impact. 

I’m not really sure where i’m going with this anymore, but watching those NPCs react to the slayers presence just adds so much more to his character. it tells us how people see him, and boy.... do they see him. 

i think it also ties a lot into how the player is made feel, controlling doomguy. all these head stomping and limp tearing animations, the guns, people being scared, watching doomslayer destroy important equipment from first pirson or pushing open doors or whatever... it just gives me such an immense feeling of power! i can’t even describe it. (...it also has nothing to do anymore with the original question but holy shit did i love playing doom for the sheer atmosphere of it. despite me being horrible at playing.)

(at the end of this i’m realizing that all of this never addressed if doomslayer is happy and content murdering demons, or if he just wants his peace and quiet but can’t help himself every time he sees a demon. i would propose to leave that up to headcanons. mine is a mix of both but in a way that makes it not angsty. like he loves to have his calm moments, but is just as happy to rip some demon’s spine out. probably gets a little itchy and impatient if he hasn’t fought in a while.)

also if you’re interested in game design and way more professional people talking about why doom 2016 is great i reccomend this documentary

...anyways it’s past 1am and this has gotten way out of hand but

tl;dr: the doomslayer is metal as fuck, he has a lot of agenda he is following, and i love him so much

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x08 - Say It Ain't So

EPISODE SUMMARY:

JAMIE CLAYTON GUEST STARS — Despite promising Liz (Jeanine Mason) that he’ll take things easy with his new heart, Max (Nathan Dean) sets out to find Cameron after learning that she’s gone missing. Michael (Michael Vlamis) grows concerned about Maria (Heather Hemmens) after a surprising discovery about her family history leaves her vulnerable. Elsewhere, ready to move on, Alex (Tyler Blackburn) goes on a date with Forrest (guest star Christian Antidormi), and Rosa (Amber Midthunder) makes a decision about her future. Rachel Raimist directed the episode written by Eva McKenna & Christopher Hollier (#208). Original airdate 5/4/2020. 

DETAILS:

Rosa's secret identity:

"...Cousin Rosalinda from Arizona. My mom married a minor league baseball player, but when he got relocated to a team in Florida…"

"Okay, you know what, let's just go with, they're dead."

This is a Twilight reference.

Rosa about the Mean Girl's art in the cave:

"That reminds me of Stephen Powers before he sold out."

Stephen Powers is a former street artist who went commercial. Some examples of his older work here:

Other examples of his newer, more commercial work here:

By the way, speaking of the cave:

And this is some fabulous visual storytelling right here:

Max is working at the Wild Pony. Temporarily, of course.

"Turns out debt collectors don't care if you've been half dead in a glowing pod for a few months."

So much for the headcanon that Max "I've been driving the same car since high school and am a homeowner before 30" Evans is good with his money. 😆 Debt collectors don't show up that fast… not that I know from experience or anything.  😳 *backs slowly away*

Iris refers to the cave as the go to hang spot for all the artsy weirdos. So it isn't like it was specifically Rosa's cave/hidden spot.

It's the first time we've seen this particular cave other than in 2008 flashbacks.

Iris Sanchez & Rosa Ortecho. Flower, Mexican family name. 😭 The hint is there!

Also 👀 from:

The iris earned its name from the ancient Greek Goddess Iris, a messenger to the gods who was thought to use the rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth...these flowers were named to honor the Rainbow Goddess and bring favor upon the earth.

Mimi made Maria take back the necklace.

"She said that it was too late for her and that I needed it more."

Michael has seen the necklace before, but he didn't know what the flower was when he fixed the clasp and returned it to her in 1x10.  It was 1x11 when they learned of the existence of the anti alien pollen. Michael reminds us:

"I know this flower.  Its pollen has a paralytic effect on alien abilities."

Once Maria takes it off, she can name every card Michael pulls from the deck.

Maria lists off a bunch of necklace facts from past episodes that fandom has previously noted...

Her powers were heightened when Michael had the necklace in 1x10. 

She wasn't wearing it when Noah invaded her at the gala.

And she wasn't wearing it at Woman As Warrior in 2x02 when she sensed that Isobel was pregnant.

"Kyle said you aren't an alien."

Fact. Kyle did say that.  It doesn't mean that it's a fact that Maria doesn't have alien DNA in her though.

Kyle determined that her blood doesn't carry the alien protein that's in the Pod Squad and Rosa. He is making an assumption that the protein is tied to being an alien.

He said he ran other tests, but the results would take longer to come in. 

Also, just a personal theory, what else do Rosa and the Pod Squad (and Noah) all have in common? They all spent significant time marinating in a pod full of goo. Rosa (10 years), Pod Squad (at least 50 years), Noah (60 years). Kyle has not studied any samples of alien biology from an alien who didn't spend time in pod goo. It's possible the protein is related to the pod goo, moreso than the alien biology. Again, just speculation on my part.

Maria confirms that her mom started getting sick when she was 18, just after she passed the necklace on to Maria.

"If this prevents you from having more episodes, it probably stops the neurodegeneration process too. It's not kryptonite, Maria. This is preventative medicine. Keep it on."

In 2x06 it was established that in addition to Sanders' place being a junkyard and a mechanic/auto shop, they also do tow truck service.  Now that comes into play again as Michael was hired to bring Cam's car back to Roswell for the investigation into her disappearance.  He brought it to the junk yard first though to give Max and Liz an hour to check the car for clues before the sheriff's department comes to collect it.

Max is smart too, in his own way. He quickly identified that "Agent Powell" was driving a rental car and that her gun wasn't government issue. 

However, it's only when he sees her tattoo (which Cam told him about in 1x07) that he confirms that she's actually Charlie Cameron!

(10 points to fandom!)

Max & Liz's conversation with Charlie is mostly just reminding us what we know about Charlie and Jenna's relationship. 

Liz indicates that Jenna had been looking for Charlie for months.  Charlie responds that she didn't want to be found (both things we learned in 2x04 through Cam's discussion with Jesse Manes.

Max indicates that Jenna thought that Charlie hated her, a call back to us first learning about Charlie and the matching tattoos in 1x07.

"I worked on a controversial project a while back. A lot of dangerous people want to know what I know."

(Again, stuff we learned in 2x04).

They learn through Cam's text history that she was looking for Jesse Manes (which we already knew, because...2x04).

"I'm just a guy standing in front of a tourist trap asking a history buff to shoot him with high velocity paint."

Tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie Notting Hill.

"So, you're cool playing war? Doesn't bring anything up?"

"Oh, yeah, my PTSD triggers are a little more complicated. Suffice to say, this war zone is the only place that my family actually got along when I was a kid."

"Yeah, some of my old platoon buddies actually play in leagues."

"I didn't know that you served."

"Yeah I wouldn't go bragging about it to a guy with a Purple Heart. I might have googled you."

New information… both that Forrest served, that he looked into Alex (which could be innocent OR sketchy…).

And of course this is the first open discussion about Alex's PTSD issues.

Cowboys versus aliens paintball… Alex is the cowboy, so Forrest must be the alien.

The call that interrupted Forrest's attempt to kiss Alex was from the hospital. Hence why Alex goes there to see Jesse.

"Look, if I had a little lucky charm that could stop people like Noah from messing with me, I would have that surgically implanted into my décolletage."

Have to admit, I wasn't sure what décolletage meant, so in case anyone else isn't familiar: 

"These abilities are a part of me. I'm not gonna just throw away the chance to learn about who I am. That make sense to you?"

"Yeah, actually, it does."

"You've gotten stronger this year, right?  Can you teach me to train? Learn how to control it all?"

"Look, it took a lot of practice before I could do anything without puking and guzzling acetone to kill the pain.  And you can't practice, because according to Kyle, every time you do it eats your brain."

"Look, I'll stop before it goes that far, okay? I know the signs. Besides, if you help me, maybe I can help you. There must be something that you want to know about your future."

"What about my past?"

Max meeting with Jesse at the Crashdown. This is super interesting because it's the first time Max has sat down, face to face, with a hostile human who knows he's an alien. 

"My uncle used to bring me here. That was back when it catered to a more civil clientele. People who actually respected the history of this town."

This is likely foreshadowing what's to come next week, based on the promo pics released.

Again, similar to the scene with Charlie at the junkyard, much of this exchange between Max and Jesse is just reminding us of stuff we learned in 1x04.

"The last time I saw her she came to me with questions about her sister.  And I told her that the people most interested in Charlie's device were a black ops group based out of Los Alamos. They're called Deep Sky. This is their logo. Paramilitary. And I told Jenna that what she was getting into was gonna be dangerous. But apparently she didn't listen.

Note: in case any of you are unaware, in Los Alamos there's a US DOE lab that has a long, sketchy history of weapons development.  Makes perfect since that it's where a paramilitary organization interested in Charlie's research would be based there.

The Deep Sky Logo

I compared this to a number of screenshots of alien symbols (like the ones we saw in Jim Valenti's letters in 1x12) and there were no matches.

However, fandom has already noted that the logo matches Trevor's ring in 2x06 (see that episode's details post for the photo).

"Charlie Cameron's mind is a unique specimen. Kind of like you. And there's always someone in the shadows waiting to crack those open."

"What did you do to Jenna?"

"I told her the truth. Which is more than you ever did. You're kind of a wolf in sheep's clothing, aren't you?"

"And what are you? Do you feel like a hero? All those people you tortured, all those people you killed. Turns out none of them were an enemy.  They were refugees. So you're not just a murderer, you're a failure."

"Yeah, I know. I am. But I tell you, something shifted in my brain when I had the stroke.  All the hate's gone out of me. All the fight. Caulfield is over and my son Flint has been reassigned. Look at me. I can barely walk."

Liz and Charlie in the car:

"Waitressing's really got to blow when you've grown a fully functioning heart muscle in a lab.  Or are you not the same Elizabeth Ortecho who co-authored a 2013 paper on cellular reprogramming? Some people build model trains; I do my homework.  Your boyfriend seems more like the train type."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We've discovered new worlds and changed the course of mankind from a microscope. Should I go Netflix and chill with my boyfriend or stay in the lab, architecting the future?"

"No offense, but if it's true that you've been in prison and in hiding, it does not seem like you've seen much of the inside of a lab either."

"I went too far.  I thought I was building something with real value. The thing is, anything that has the potential to create real change, it scares people. And anything that scares people is inherently dangerous no matter what your intention is."

"You could start over. Get a new identity, work at a research university."

"I've done extraordinary things. Everything ordinary is ruined now."

More exposition that we already know as Max catches Charlie and Liz up on what he learns from Jesse.

"He said Cam is headed to Los Alamos to investigate a group called Deep Sky. Does that mean anything to you?"

"No. Let me reach out to some of my military contacts, do some recon. Give me a day, we'll go from there."

Liz and Michael, in the lab, on The Science:

"I'm looking for the sample of yellow pollen."

"The stuff I swept off the floor after throwing it at Noah? I don't know. I didn't see it while we were packing up."

"Well it was here a few months back.  Did I miss an experiment where it grew legs and a fondness for the outdoors?"

"Could have been accidentally thrown away. Sample was too oxidized to be of much use, and I've been trying to get my hands on fresh flowers, but it's impossible. I think they might be extinct. Why are you freaking out?"

"Because I have a math problem. There's only one flower in Maria's necklace, but there are two DeLuca women and apparently the flower is the key to preventing their illness. This is everything from the Caulfield drives and the experiments done on Maria's grandmother. A lot of it was lost in a lab fire in the '80s, but…"

"I'll take a look."

(Aside… 👀 Lab fire in the '80s. I have a feeling that's more foreshadowing.)

"I just want you to see if anything done could be undone. I don't want you to, like, Dr. Frankenstein it. The experiments were very bad."

"My days as an alien scientist are officially over."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"'Cause it's hard not to think about the far-reaching implications of this kind of research. You don't get sick on this planet. If I could figure out why, I could eradicate all illness."

"But you can't. Because that would expose us."

"Which I would obviously never do. It's over."

Arturo's text to Liz:

Have you seen our little mouse?

"Rosalinda" is late for her first shift.

Isobel and Maria go to Michael's trailer and Isobel shows Maria the newspaper clip of Michael's mom to try to trigger a vision.

"It's not working. And I don't feel great going through this stuff without Michael knowing."

"Why not? One day this palace might all be yours."

"It's not working.  I have a business to run, and you need to go Instagram something."

"Says the social media revitalizer. Listen, word to the wise, every time Max saw Liz in a skirt and tried not to pop a bulb, he wound up setting off a fire alarm. Everytime I push myself too hard, I miss time, or wind up accidentally realizing that my mom still thinks about her ex-boyfriend Rocco, like, in vivid detail."

"Okay, where are you going with this?"

"Effort doesn't equal control. So if you want to do this you're gonna have to embrace your inner ice queen and let it go."

"I'm not great at letting things go."

"Yeah, I know.  That's hard…"

Maria's vision:

Triggered by a t-shirt hanging in the trailer.

Louise is hanging laundry

Walt runs up to her and gives her a little windmill with her name on it. (Initially I thought her name was pressed or punched into the metal, but on second viewing, it looks like it might be puff paint or something similar.)

Walt runs off to find Nora and Louise goes back to hanging laundry.

After the vision Maria's nose starts bleeding.

Max goes after Charlie to stop her from turning herself in.

I wonder if his tire screeching action guy driving is supposed to be emphasizing to the audience that he's not being as cautious as he should be? 

Deep Sky said that if Charlie "...wasn't at Sutter's grain depot by 11pm, that they would torture (Cam) to death."

Charlie heard on the call:

A train rolling by

A demonic laugh

And somehow that's enough for Max to magically know exactly where Cam is.

Alex and Jesse at the hospital:

"Hey, they said that you mixed whiskey with your medications.  That's not like you."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I mean, you're my father. I can't seem to shake you."

"Yeah. I failed."

"Yes. But in what way specifically?"

"Uncle Tripp. I let him down. I never could figure out what he needed of me. And tonight I went to the bunker.  And I keep trying to crack the code."

"Liz said that you spoke to Max Evans. She said that you were half decent to him. Is that what this is about?"

"One of them killed Tripp, you know."

"An alien? Yeah. Then he hunted them. He dragged them to a torture chamber. I'm not surprised one of them…" 

Jesse slams his cane.

"He was the best man I ever knew.

Jesse tries to stand and falls into Alex, then continues to walk away.

The location that Deep Sky is holding Cam looks like a rodeo or horse arena or racetrack with a big grandstand.

There are nearby train tracks, and a warehouse where a mechanic repairs old carnival rides.

As Max and Charlie are scoping out the area you can hear both sounds softly in the background.

The sniper was watching and shooting at them from the grandstand.

Charlie is shot in the leg.

"Let me go get her."

"No. Deep Sky wants me alive. Your brain is worth considerably less to them which means it'll be splattered all over the dirt."

(Oh the irony...confirming that Charlie doesn't know that Max is an alien.)

"If anything goes wrong, call Liz. No doctors."

Max does shoot the sniper!

And then uses his powers to knock out the power (and instantly feeling it in his heart when he starts to use his powers!!!!!!) which, as @angsty-aliens very eloquently pointed out, is absurd because there was a big red lever that would have done the same thing. *facepalm*

Cam on her kidnapping:

"The last thing I remember is this weird sound. It made the hairs on my arm stand up. And this bright light, and the pain in the back of my neck like you wouldn't believe."

Cam's burn is fractals.  Like Liz's burn from Max's powers in 1x03. Top is Liz's fresh burn in 1x03, bottom is Cam's not-so-fresh burn in 2x08. Keep in mind, we don't know how long Cam was missing for.

Rosa and Iris at the "art show".

"So you said you're from Roswell?"

"Oh, I was from Roswell.  I got out and went to art school as soon as I graduated. I work for an artist now. I help her run her gallery. Yeah, I used to want to be a painter, but then I realized I loved curating art way more than I ever loved making it."

👀 I wonder what this says about Rosa's internal motivation. If Iris is the life she wishes that she had, does she not want to be a painter? Or is that her internal insecurity rearing its head.  Like, she can't even dream about that possibility because it's what she really wants above all else.  Which is why Iris then motivates her to paint and prove to her inner self that she is an artist? 

Speaking of which, here's Rosa's painting from the episode. Mucho gracias to @rosaortecho for giffing it for me since it wasn't cap-able in a single shot.

Iris's assessment of Rosa's art:

"This piece is you outrunning your demons. This is amazing. That's what you have to do.  You have to capture them and rattle the cage.  This is art. This is what you're meant to do, Rosa!"

Rosa's hallucination starts to fall apart as they dance.  She starts coughing and having trouble breathing.

"Your star sign's just out of whack."

Play on lyrics from God of Wine by Third Eye Blind, which was heavily referenced in 1x02. 

The direct quote is "your star sign's out of whack" and the next lyric is "a fraudulent zodiac"

Which, of course, is what Rosa had written on her hand before she died in 2008 and is a reference to Ophiuchus, which was Noah's zodiac obsession.

And then Liz finds her overdosing in the cave. 

The coughing in Rosa's hallucination was from smoke inhalation.  Because while passed out she started a fire with her powers.

Feels like a good time to point out that it's the same cave that she died in back in 2008, and she would have died there again if Liz hadn't found her. 😭

At the hospital Rosa tells Liz that she wants to go to rehab, but she knows she can't since she can't control her powers. 

Liz gives her Maria's necklace to borrow since it will suppress her powers and allow her to go to rehab.

Alex and Forrest at the Wild Pony:

"I still have my dad's voice in my head telling me that being seen with a man in public is an embarrassment. To my name and my uniform."

"Well, there's nothing like a dad voice to mess up a perfectly good date."

"It's also just that...I mean, Roswell's so conservative. This bar is filled with cowboys. If you want to go someplace private…"

"Look, I like you. But I don't want to climb into somebody else's closet."

"I cannot tell you how badly I want to be done with this frickin' closet."

"But you're not. And that's okay. Really. Listen, if that voice in your head ever shuts up, give me a call. Because between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes."

Charlie took off and left a note for Jenna. According to Jenna it says she's gonna disappear again and not to look for her.

Arturo is taking Rosa to a rehab center that Kyle set her up with "a few hours away".

Max tells Liz "let's go home." So… did she move in with him??

Liz says no though.  She says she has to open the diner and cry alone.  But instead she goes to the secret lab.  

Both Max and Liz were evading the truth a little bit here.  Liz didn't tell Max that she wanted to go to the secret lab.  Max didn't tell Liz that his heart did wonk out after using his powers and he did overdo it going after Cam. Bad Echo!!

Liz goes back to packing the secret lab up initially, but then her eyes fall into the Caulfield folders, and she stops. 

She unpacks her stolen equipment (genetic sequencer?), puts on her lab coat, and sits down to start reading the file.

Isobel brings Michael beer as a peace offering, since she's coming to admit that she helped Maria trigger a vision.  She thinks Michael will be mad, but he isn't because he and Maria already worked it out.

So Isobel tells him about the vision and seeing Louise, and specifically about Walt giving Louise the windmill. 

Michael immediately reacts, goes to a shelf, and grabs a similar windmill.

Turns out Walt is Sanders.  He pulls up in his car and Michael immediately confronts Sanders.

"It was you. You're Walt. You're the little boy in the photo.  You knew my mother."

And Sanders nods.

10 more points to fandom.

Max goes to Charlie's hotel to confront her about turning herself in to Deep Sky.

The windmill in both scenes. Until I put this together I didn't think they were the same one (because Louise's name isn't on Michael's. But other details (like the word weight on one of the legs) are the same.

"You think Deep Sky needs to have Jenna by the throat to kill her? Okay, the only way that I can protect her is from the inside."

Then the "abduction scene" happens.

It mirrors what happened to Jenna in 2x04, only to Max and Charlie.

MUSIC:

1.  Hole "Celebrity Skin"

2.  Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real "Die Alone"

3.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

4.  Marc Danzeisen "Some Things Last Forever"

5.  Joey Sykes "Sign Of The Times"

6.  I AM ORFA "Like That Look"

7.  Danny Ayer "Set Us Free"

8.  Hamish Anderson "Trouble"

9.  OMC "How Bizarre"

10.  Muscadine Bloodline "Movin' On"

11.  Little May "Hide"

[calpalirwin]

B.U.B

Summary: What’s better than your best girl and best mate getting along? Well, nothing really. If you knew the rumors were false, that is. 

A/N: You’ve heard of enemies to lovers. You’ve heard of fake-dating to real dating. Might I introduce a new trope called hostility turned platonic friendship turned stand-in boyfriend? Aka my brain child with @here-for-the-uproars​

Content: Swearing, general tom-foolery. Fighting!

DISCLAIMER: NOT A poly!Cashton or poly!5sos fic!!!!

Need to catch up?

 Part 1

And away, and away we go!

Part 2

Ashton let out a chuckle when he pulled into Luke’s driveway and found Calum’s Range Rover already parked. Seemed like his friend had had the same idea to prepare the blue eyed blonde for his date with Sam. Ashton would be damned if Sam came home pissed off because Luke didn’t listen to reason. “Bro, we told you sunflowers!” Calum’s voice was telling Luke when Ashton walked in and found them in Luke’s bedroom.

“But roses can be our thing,” Luke protested.

Ashton sighed. Sam would cry if Luke gave her roses. Her night would be ruined before it even started.

“Ash!” Calum smiled gratefully at the other man. “He’s seriously going to give her roses.”

“Roses are romantic! What’s wrong with roses?!” Luke laughed in his confusion.

“Everything!” Calum shouted.

“Ash, tell Cal he’s being crazy. Girls love roses,” Luke said, blue eyes pleading with Ashton to give him validation that the blonde knew how to woo a girl.

“Luke, mate, if you give Sam roses she will burst into tears,” Ashton said simply.

“Because she’ll be so happy because she loves roses?” Luke asked hopefully.

Ashton shook his head. “Sam hates roses. Reminds her of her grandparents.”

“Why would she hate something that reminds her of her grandparents?” Luke asked.

“Because they practically raised her and died when she was in high school. Roses are the bad memories. Sunflowers are the good ones.”

“Well, fuck,” Luke said, frowning. “Think I got time to get sunflowers then?”

“Are you going dressed like that?” Ashton asked, pointing at the other man’s attire.

“What’s wrong with how I’m dressed?” Luke asked, crossing his arms.

“Your boots, Luke. Sam hates glitter. Says it gets everywhere.”

Luke shot daggers at Calum. “But Cal said!”

Calum laughed.

It was Ashton’s turn to cross his arms. “Did you really tell him to wear those boots? Are you trying to ruin this for Sam?”

“Oh, c’mon,” Calum continued to laugh. “I said no to the roses.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Here,” he said, reaching down to tug off his own boots. “Switch with me.”

“What?” Luke asked, taking Ashton’s boots. “I have more boots.”

“Yeah, and I bet each pair is more glittery than the last, you fuckin’ eccentric cowboy. Now, put on the boots. Cal, go get him a new shirt while I call the florist to get a bouquet ready.”

“What’s wrong with my shirt?” Luke pouted, kicking off his boots.

“Too shiny,” both men told him. “Here, wear this instead,” Calum said, handing Luke a hanger with a pin-striped blue suit.

“So, now my pants are wrong, too?” Luke continued to pout but grabbed the change of clothes anyway.

“Shut up and change. Cal, grab him an extra jacket,” Ashton instructed before speaking into the phone. “Yes, hi. It’s Ash. Yep. Uh, five minutes? Awesome, thanks Bryce.”

“I’m gonna be too hot in this,” Luke said, now changed into the blue suit and Ashton’s boots, a leather jacket draped over his arm.

“It’s not for you,” Calum told him. “It’s for Sam.”

“I gotta get back before Sam realizes I left. Make sure he leaves in 5 minutes, Cal cuz he’s gotta pick up the new flowers and if he’s late…”

“Sam will kill him. I know,” Calum said, waving his hand at Ashton.

Fifteen minutes later, Luke was knocking on Ashton’s door, in his blue suit and Ashton’s boots, sunflowers in hand.

“So this is where your boots went?” Sam said, looking at Luke’s feet and up at Ashton, having wondered why her boyfriend was only in socks and knowing his boots anywhere.

Ashton shrugged and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “All of his are glittery. Have fun, baby.”

~~~

Paparazzi were hot on Luke and Sam’s trail when they emerged from the theatre, smiling. Luke because- after being cramped in the theatre seats- he was grateful to stretch his legs; Sam because she had enjoyed her evening out with her friend.

“Luke, where’s Sierra? Are you guys done? Sam, what about Ashton and Calum? Are you just making your way through the band? Can we expect to see you out with Mike next? What does Crystal think about that?”

Sam tensed at the accusations while Luke laughed. Sam had gotten used to the paps and their outlandish idea that the woman was actually dating both Ashton and Calum. But now she was a tramp working her way through the whole band? Because she went out with her friend? God, the world needed to get a fuckin’ grip. “Get me home, Luke,” Sam spoke in a low whisper, the words eating away at her. Is that what everyone really thought of her? She tried her hardest to let the words roll of her shoulders, but this particular attack was cutting her deep. Maybe if she wanted to be friends with the boys she needed to do it private. But, the very thought made her angry. She shouldn’t have to hide her friendships because the world couldn’t grasp the idea of a man and woman being friends.

“Relax, they’re just words,” Luke continued to laugh.

“At my expense. You being spotted with out with women wearing your coat makes you a player. It makes me a whore. Are you even listening to what they’re asking me?”

“Honestly, I tuned this stuff out long ago.”

Sam rolled her eyes, fighting back the tears. “They’re asking if I’m sleeping my way through the band and if Mike is next.”

It was Luke’s turn to tense up, any trace of laughter gone. “Fuckers,” he growled, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Hold the jacket up to your face. Can you run?”

She shook her head. “I mean I can, but your legs are a lot longer than mine. I won’t be able to keep up.”

“You make the pace, I’ll match it. Just keep your head down and the jacket up. I got ya, sweetheart.”

Sam picked up her pace, the ground a blur as she moved next to Luke, trusting him to guide her in the right direction as she focused on putting one foot in front of the other as fast as possible. “Fuck off,” Luke growled at the paparazzi, slamming the car door shut on Sam’s side with more force than he meant to when she was safely inside. “You okay?” Luke asked, his voice soft and full of concern when he got in the driver’s seat.

Sam nodded her head, letting out a shaky breath. “I will be.”

“You wanna stop for ice cream? Or do you want me to just take you home to Ash?”

“The second one, please. There’s ice cream there.”

Luke nodded and carefully backed himself out onto the street. “I’m sorry I laughed. I didn’t realize it affected you this bad.”

She brushed him off with a wave of her hand. “Normally it’s not that bad. They got used to seeing me with Cal. But this? Fuck, I really should’ve thought about the implications better.”

“No,” Luke said sharply. “You can go out with whomever you want. Don’t ever let them make you feel bad, sweetheart. What do Ash and Cal say when this happens?”

Sam chuckled, a harsh but humorous sound. “They take turns holding each other back from knocking the paps on their asses. But, for the most part we just keep our heads down and walk fast.”

“Shit…” Luke muttered with a shake of his head. “You know we’re eventually gonna have to do a press tour just about you, sweetheart. Set the record straight. Maybe actually knock out a few people.”

Sam laughed with a little more life. “Please don’t hit anybody. Your management would flip.”

“I’m not gonna make that promise, because I feel like there’s a good chance I’ll break it. But, I’ll try.”

~~~

The front door of the house was already being pulled open before Luke had even put his car in park. “Baby, are you okay?” Ashton asked, worry on his face as he yanked the car door open.

“I’m fine, Fletch,” Sam said, pushing him out of the way so she could get out of the car. “They said nasty shit, but it’s nothing new.”

“No, they went too far this time,” Ashton said, his tone sharp, his eyes darkening.

“Fletch, please don’t. I just want some ice cream, and maybe a bath,” Sam said with a sigh.

Ashton’s eyebrows furrowed together, but he swallowed his rage, wrapping an arm around her. “C’mon, baby. Did you have fun with Luke at least?”

She nodded, holding out her hand for Luke to follow. “Yeah, we had fun. Missed you though.”

“How’d you enjoy being a bub, Lu?” Ashton laughed, the tension in his shoulders fading at Sam’s admittance of having fun. That’s all he cared about. As long as she had a good night, that’s all that mattered to him.

“Way harder than it looks,” Luke laughed.

“Aw, so you don’t wanna be my bub, sometimes?” Sam teased.

“Oh, I’ll do it,” Luke nodded eagerly. “Just say when and where, sweetheart.”

“Good, partner.”

“I call you sweetheart and I get partner?” Luke laughed.

Sam shrugged. “We find inspiration where we can, partner.”

“Consider yourself lucky. I’m still ‘Fletch’,” Ashton added.

~~~

“Wait, so when do I get a turn?” Mike asked Sam as she studied the chess board.

“Turn at what? Sam asked, moving her rook forward. “Check mate.”

Mike frowned, his green eyes wide as he looked at the board. “Fuck, that was fast.”

Sam leaned back and shrugged. “Wanna go again? Or answer my question?”

“Huh?” Mike asked, still taken aback that the chess match had lasted a whopping ten minutes.

“You want a turn at what?”

“Oh. Being a bub. Do I get a turn?”

“Will Crystal let you have a turn?” Sam asked, looking over at Mike’s fiancée.

“Only if I get a turn after,” Crystal laughed.

“Whoa, shouldn’t I get a turn first?” Sierra cut in.

“Am I ever gonna get my girlfriend back?” Ashton fake-pouted.

“Should’ve dated someone less loveable,” Sam laughed, getting up and crossing the room to him.

“And miss out on all this? Nah,” Ashton decided, kissing her deeply.

~~~

True to how Ashton had raced over to Luke’s before his first “date” with Sam, Ashton pulled in Mike’s driveway and found out that Calum had once again beat him to the punch.

He walked in as Calum was walking out, a grin on his face. “Leaving already?”

“Mike doesn’t need us. Fuckin’ nerd boy is more observant than he lets on.”

Ashton chuckled and walked back with Calum to the cars. “So, Sam will have fun?”

“Yeah, she’s in good hands. Should’ve fuckin’ figured, yeah? I mean, he is engaged.”

Ashton chuckled again and drove home to wait with Sam for Mike to knock on the door, sunflowers in hand.

He waited, phone in hand for tabloid notifications, like he did every time Sam went out. And they came. And then Mike and Sam breezed through the door, huge grins on their faces. “Enjoy the rest of your night, queen,” Mike winked at her, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. “See ya, Ash.”

“Get home safe, king,” Sam laughed, giving Mike a last hug before Mike was bounding back out to his car.

“King and queen, huh?” Ashton asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Chess reference,” Sam shrugged.

“Can I put in a request for a new nickname?”

Sam wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Nah, you’re Fletch.”

Ashton chuckled and then his typical question rolled off his lips. “Did you have fun with Mike, baby?”

Sam nodded, “Missed you though.”

“Well, c’mon. I’ll run you a bath.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Ooo, can I request a reminder of who’s girlfriend I am, too?”

Ashton licked at his lips. “You can have whatever you want, baby.”

“I want you, Fletch.”

~~~

“If you don’t vote for Sam, I’ll kick both of your asses,” Ashton growled quietly at Luke and Mike as the three watched Calum and Sam busy in the kitchen.

Calum and Sam had been fighting constantly over who was the better cook and the gauntlet had figuratively been thrown down when Sam challenged Calum to a bake off for Duke’s birthday. Ashton knew Sam would be distraught for days if she lost, not that he believed she would lose. But he could ignore Calum pouting over the loss for a day or two. He couldn’t ignore Sam, though.

“That empathy hoodie is mine, bub,” Sam said with a glare.

“Not a chance, princess. Say hello to dog walking duty for the next month.”

“Honestly, either way this is a lose-lose for you, bub.”

“Ha,” Mike snickered. “Bub, how cute.”

“Yeah, bub. As in the original,” Calum snapped.

“Your pet names are trash,” Mike said with a smirk.

“If I had known there was a theme, I’d call her duchess!” Luke pouted.

“I’d prefer baroness, partner,” Sam told him.

“Partner! Cuz you’re a fuckin’ eccentric cowboy!” Mike laughed loudly.

“Still better than ‘Fletch’,” Luke continued to pout with a pointed glance at Ashton.

If it was possible, which is was, Mike laughed louder. “Fletch! You got middle named and it’s not even the whole thing! Ha!”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “She comes home with me at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. And at least she uses my name, partner.”

Mike was now doubled over as he fought for breath he was laughing so hard. “You fuckin’ cowboy!”

“Done!” Sam announced, throwing up her hands, and doing a little happy dance. In front of her were four cupcakes: 3 for the human judges, 1 for the dog judge.

“Finally!” Mike cheered. “The king wants his cupcakes.”

Calum rolled his eyes as both him and Sam gave the cupcakes to the men. “Yeah, yeah. Shut up and judge.”

Calum and Sam watched carefully as the men bit into the cupcakes. “Holy shit! It’s an Oreo!” Mike said around his mouthful of Sam’s cupcake. “Winner. Done.”

“Sam,” Ashton agreed, because of course he was going to pick Sam over Calum.

“Sam,” Luke nodded, because fuck Calum for being original bub over him.

Calum shot a glare at Sam. “You! You rigged this!”

“Did not!” Sam shouted, hands going to her hips.

“Bullshit! You sleep with one of the judges!”

“You picked the judges!”

Calum’s brown eyes were hard as stone as they narrowed. “Fine. Winner take all with Duke?”

“You’re on, bub,” Sam said with her own death glare.

“Bring it, princess,” Calum said with a snarl he hadn’t associated with the pet name for Sam for coming up on two years now. Ashton didn’t like it one fucking bit. Neither did Sam, but she was too busy being angry to care for his tone, her own competitive streak showing it’s true colors.

The two dog-friendly cupcakes were placed in front of Duke. Duke took one sniff of Calum’s cupcake and snorted. He carefully sniffed at Sam’s cupcake before swallowing it whole. “Rigged!” Calum declared, throwing up his hands.

“I won fair and square!” Sam defended.

“Bull fuckin shit ya did!”

“Just give me the damn hoodie, bub,” Sam said, her voice a dangerous level of low.

“No,” Calum said, his voice matching hers.

Ashton got up quickly to put himself between the two, having never seen them fight like this, and honestly both a little worried and ready to knock out Calum if he crossed the line. Which is something Calum was known to do in the heat of the moment. “Let’s just calm down,” Ashton said, keeping his voice calm and even, the way Sam’s voice usually was.

“Tell him to stop being a sore loser and give me the hoodie.”

“Tell her that the bet’s off because she’s a cheater.”

“I didn’t cheat!”

“BULLSHIT!”

“Why don’t we just forget the bet?”

“You’re taking his side?! Fletcher!”

Ashton’s eyes went wide. Sam only went full middle name when she was seriously pissed off. “Baby, I’ll buy you your own empathy hoodie.”

“I have my own hoodie, he’s wearing it.”

“Come and get it, princess,” Calum taunted, beckoning with a finger.

Sam let out a wild scream and lunged at Calum, tackling him to the kitchen floor. “GIVE ME THE HOODIE!”

“NO!”

“Give me the hoodie, or you’re not longer bub!”

“You can’t un-bub me! I quit!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“No!” Ashton shouted, his eyes wide. “You guys have tickets to see Wicked in two weeks.”

“Oh, I’m still going!”

“Like hell you are! You can’t resign from your bub duties and still get the benefits!”

“Just admit you cheated!”

“I DIDN’T CHEAT!”

“YES YOU DID!”

It took Ashton holding Sam back while Luke and Mike stripped Calum of the beloved green hoodie before Ashton could get Sam in the car, clutching her hoodie in victory while Calum screamed in the driveway.

“Fletch?” Sam sniffed, upset over her fight with Calum, but pleased with her victory.

“Yeah baby?” Ashton asked, feeling like the fight had just aged him a decade.

“Will you see Wicked with me?”

Ashton sighed deeply. “Make up with Cal, baby.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “I did nothing wrong. He needs to learn to deal with losing.”

Ashton let out another deep sigh. “We’ll see what happens, okay?”

~~~

“Where’s Ashton and Sam, Calum?” the paparazzi asked as Calum walked around town alone. It was day 3 post Cupcake Gate and he needed to get out of the house. “What happened to your empathy hoodie?”

“Lost it,” Calum muttered darkly.

~~~

Day 4 post Cupcake Gate, the paparazzi spotted Ashton and Sam and went nuts. “Hey, where’s Calum? Did Calum get jealous of Luke and Mike? Is Hoodson over? Is that his hoodie?!”

“It’s my hoodie,” Sam glared.

~~~

Wicked was in three days. Calum and Sam still hadn’t made up. Ashton, in an attempt of sheer desperation, ordered five more tickets. He was going to get Calum and Sam back on track and he was going to need all the backup he could get.

~~~

“Baby, you gotta start getting ready,” Ashton said, nudging her shoulder.

Sam, curled up on the couch in a blanket, turned to Ashton with a blank expression. “Why? You don’t wanna see Wicked with me. I’ll just catch it next time or something.”

“Samantha Hudson! I have had enough of your pouting! Go. Get. Dressed.”

Sam rolled her eyes at his theatrics and use of her full first name. “Fletch, this is dumb. You don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go. Let’s just stay in. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, baby. I do wanna go.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Really? You wanna go see Wicked?”

“I really do.”

Sam smiled at him. He had been trying to make her happy for two weeks now, and she had been a straight-up bitch. But he kept trying. And now he looked downright happy to sit through a musical they both knew he didn’t give two shits about, because it would make her happy. And seeing Sam happy made Ashton happy. Plus, Ashton really needed Sam to come see Wicked with him. Half his plan depended on it. The other half depended on Luke and Mike dragging Calum kicking and screaming to the theatre. “Fletch, I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Now go get ready.”

She got up and walked to the bedroom “This is really sweet of you, but it’s not gonna be the same with- Oh, Fletch!” she gasped, stopping when she saw the dress lying on the bed and the vase of sunflowers on her night table. “You’re up to something, aren’t you?”

“Just appreciating my baby,” he smiled at her.

~~~

“Fletcher!” Sam growled at Ashton at the same time Calum muttered an “I’m gonna kill you both,” at Luke and Mike as the group met up outside the theatre.

“Hey,” Ashton said quickly. “This dumb feud has lasted long enough.”

“Dumb feud,” they both scoffed. Then, “Look, she’s even wearing my damn hoodie,” Calum added.

“I get cold, Thomas.”

“I’m not sitting next to a cheater.”

“Who said I wanted to sit next to a crybaby?”

“Well I want to sit by Ash.”

“Tough, Thomas. He’s my boyfriend. I’m pulling rank tonight.”

“You can both sit next to me,” Ashton compromised.

“Wow, Si, you can’t fight Mike over me like that?” Luke joked to Sierra with a fake-pout.

“I’d have to actually like you first, mate,” Mike said, clapping Luke’s shoulder as the group finally made their way inside.

“One licorice, please,” Calum told the concession stand worker.

Sam gasped in outrage. “He doesn’t even like licorice!”

“Baby, I’ll buy you a box. It’s not a big deal,” Ashton told her before turning his attention to the concession stand worker. “I’ll have the same please, and 2 waters.”

“Sorry sir, that gentleman just took the last box,” he smiled politely, pointing at Calum.

Sam let out another gasp and had to hold back from stomping her foot like a toddler. Calum however, didn’t seem to care for being mature as he sneered at her and took a huge bite from one of the pieces of licorice, chewing obnoxiously as he did so. I hope you choke, she thought viciously as Ashton mumbled some under his breath that sounded vaguely like “Fuckin hell, this is gonna suck,” and ordered Sam her favorite chocolate instead.

Ashton was right. The musical itself wasn’t bad. It was the two people he sat between that made his skin prickle. It didn’t help matters that he knew the paparazzi had spotted Calum and Sam’s preshow spat and would no doubt be waiting for more dirt when the show was over. This was why he hated musicals. He hated that everything he did was scrutinized by the public eye, every inch of his life overanalyzed and picked over. God, it was such a headache. And Calum and Sam weren’t doing him any favors by being at each other’s throats. He missed Calum being his and Sam’s paparazzi buffer. He missed Calum. Hell, he missed Sam. Things just weren’t the same without his best friend and girlfriend being best friends themselves. He didn’t want to go back to how things were in those first months he had dated Sam when Calum had been unsure of the woman.

He let his mind run it’s course of worst-case scenarios until he caught the tears streaming down Sam’s cheeks as she lip-synced to one of the songs, her eyes not on the stage but on Calum. Ashton moved his eyes to watch Calum and held back the grin when he noticed Calum was singing the song back to Sam. Yeah, Hoodson just might make it after all.

“Here,” Sam told Calum, tugging off the hoodie as they stood in the foyer after the show.

“No, keep it,” Calum said, crossing his arms. “It’s gonna be cold outside.”

Sam shook her head and pushed it into Calum’s arms anyway. “I’ll wear Fletch’s.”

Calum let out a short breath that held the trace of a chuckle. “Well, here then,” he said, accepting the hoodie and pushing the box of licorice in Sam’s hand. The box was still full, except for one piece that had a bite taken out of it. “Truce?” Calum asked.

Sam grinned and threw her arms around Calum’s neck. “I’ve missed you, bub!”

“I’ve missed you too, princess,” he replied, hugging her tightly.

“Hey bub?” Sam asked once her and Calum let go.

“Yeah princess?”

“Can I have a piggyback ride to the car?”

“Jump on,” Calum said, crouching down slightly and hooking his arms under her legs as she jumped on his back.

The paparazzi was waiting like Ashton knew they would be. And they went nuts over Sam being carried by Calum, the group’s laughs echoing into the night. And Ashton didn’t care one fucking bit what anyone thought about his mate carrying his girl. Hoodson was back on track.

~~~

What followed Calum and Sam’s two week long friendship crisis was what was affectionately referred to as the BUB Accords. It was an agreement that had a strict no pettiness policy, and after further debate, came to decide that when Luke or Mike took out Sam, Ashton and Calum would take out Crystal or Sierra. It drove the paparazzi ragged trying to keep track of “breaking stories” which only made it all the more fun for the group of friends.

It almost became a game of who could create the wildest headline in the tabloids- Cashton with a girl who wasn’t Sam, or Sam making her way through the rest of the band. A game that only got funnier when Sam started going on “dates” with Crystal and Sierra. Well, right up until the entire group of seven went out and all hell broke loose anyway.

It had started out innocent enough. The boys had dropped their newest album. Sam had gotten accepted into her school’s doctorate program. It was time to celebrate.

The group of seven stumbled out of the night club, grins on their faces, arms wrapped around shoulders, just absolutely in love with each other and their lives.

“Hey, Hoodson! Glad to see you back on track. Calum, did you finally get tired of not fucking her? Sam, how well does Calum fuck? You gonna leave Ashton for him? Have you fucked Luke or Mike yet? What about you, Crystal and Sierra? You girls gonna fuck the other 5SOS boys, too?” the paparazzi yelled at them.

Sam wasn’t sure which comment made Ashton and Calum lunge first, but when the paparazzi added Crystal and Sierra’s names to the mix, Luke and Mike both threw a punch.

It was a mix of the four men wrestling the paparazzi to the ground, fists flying, curses and screams filling the night air.

“Alright, fuck!” Ashton growled as the cops jerked him roughly to sit on the curb, his lip busted and bleeding.

“Look, I’m gonna be real with you,” Calum was saying, his brown eyes darker than the group had ever seen. “You, Mr. Officer, better book up me and my mates. Because if you let us go, you’re just gonna have to break this apart again.”

“Sir, have you been drinking?”

“A little,” Calum said truthfully. “But I don’t even have my car keys. Ashton, is designated driver and he’s as sober as can be. And you can’t arrest me for being drunk outside a bar.”

“I can arrest you for disorderly conduct and give you a hefty fine for disturbing the peace. On top of whatever they’re gonna press charges on you for,” the officer told him.

“Do it then. Arrest all of us,” Ashton spoke up. “We’re all guilty. We’re not fighting that. But if you FUCKERS” Ashton shouted loudly at the paparazzi who were nursing their wounds nearby, “wanna press charges, I’ll go ahead and press my own. You filmed me without my permission. That’s harassment. And you bet your ass I’ll drag this out and waste your time and money.”

“Same goes for us,” Calum, Luke, and Mike agreed.

~~~

“Michael Gordon Clifford!”

“Lucas Robert Hemmings!”

“Calum Thomas Hood!”

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin!”

The men held back a wince. “Hi, Mum,” they said in unison.

The phones all on speaker and on the coffee table at Ashton’s the next morning held the voices of four very angry mothers shouting their disappointment and rage at their sons. “Just because you’re an adult! I raised you better! What on Earth were you thinking?! You need to learn to control that temper!”

“Mum, you do-”

“I’m not finished!”

“Hey, Mums!” Sam announced happily, hoping to ease the tension.

“Sam! Hi, darling!”

“Look, I know on the outside this looks bad. But, I promise you there’s the side of the story that you aren’t getting.”

“Sam, honey, there’s never a good reason to start beating people up.”

“Normally I would be in total agreement, Mums. However, a line was severely crossed last night. I mean, I’m sure you’re all aware of what the tabloids have been saying about me and my friendships with Cal, Luke, and Mike, along with the accusations regarding my relationship with Ashton. It’s never been good. It’s been downright nasty sometimes. However, last night the line was crossed. I’d rather not repeat what was said. But it was besmirching of not only my name, but Crystal and Sierra’s names as well.”

“They said what?!”

Sam sighed. “They, that is the paparazzi, accused us women of… let’s use the term sleeping… our way through the band.”

“Are their hands okay?” came the worried reply.

“Your sons are fine. The paparazzi on the other hand… not so much.”

“Good.”

The BUB Accords were later amended to include a “head down, coat up” rule in dealing with the paparazzi.

____

Tag-list?

@baldcalum​ @cxddlyash​ @here-for-the-uproars​ @cashtonasff5sos​ @flameraine​

[khaosgaming22]

Cryptic Messages from the Deep Stones Below

“Had another nightmare huh?” Rick held the sides of his head and nodded. Chao did not have them nearly as often as Rick and his were much lighter when they occurred. Most of the time he didn’t want to talk about them, but the few times he did he described one as a regular dream. It started out with him in a field of flowers with the sun shining, nothing but the city in the background nestled into the mountain side. Then the sun disappeared, the field of flowers immediately wilted and the city in the background changed. A tower arose and turned the sky from blue to red and it snapped in half to come crashing down on top on him. Then nothing but darkness and an endless army of Exos that came rushing to fight him, leaving no option but to fight back. Chao stopped asking after that dream...

~

The two of them eventually got up and put their armor on to go to the Tower, Exos didn’t need to eat either. Chao did with Ken and Drake on occasion but most of the time he skipped the pointless activity. They made their way toward Shaxx before going to the Crucible for the day, however the Titan threw a bit of a wrench into their plans.

“Ah! Chao and Rick my two favorite Crucible warriors! How has the morning been for you two?” Chao looked over at Rick who gave a shake of his head signaling to keep quiet.

“Been good so far Shaxx.” Chao responded fixing his mark a bit.

“Good to hear. Sorry to interrupt your utter domination of the enemy team but can I ask you something?” Chao shrugged.

“Sure thing. What do you need us to do?” Shaxx showed them a map on a tablet.

“I am thinking about where to put a new Crucible arena and this place looked interesting.” Chao looked at the area and nodded, then he stopped for a second when he read the location: Enceladus. A moon in Saturn’s orbit that was full of ice to most, but to Exos... it was full of terror. He knew he already agreed to it so he couldn’t back out now.

“We’ll scope it out Shaxx.” He replied nodding and Rick gave a thumbs up, the two were inseparable, whatever Chao did Rick did and vise versa.

“Excellent! I would pay you in Crucible tokens but I think you have enough of those already.” Shaxx said laughing in his booming voice.

“Glimmer is just fine, don’t sweat it.” Chao replied, Shaxx nodded and waved as they transmatted to their ships. Chao took the lead and Rick followed as they passed the asteroid belt and the large mass of the gas giant Jupiter.

“So I guess we’re goin pretty far today aren’t we?” Chao responded with a simple “yup”, refraining from telling where they were heading for the time being.

“So... where then?” Chao tensed his grip on the controls of the ship, he couldn’t lie to him, but he could tell him half of the story.

“Moon of Saturn.” He said simply, trying not to say it too quickly in fear of arousing suspicion. Luckily it didn’t and Rick nodded in his cockpit. Chao navigated them past the giant hole in the planets ring, the battleground of the Awoken people’s first push against Oryx the Taken King. Many lives were lost to the energy pulse that created the large gap and it was also the last player Mara was seen until one guardian discovered the Dreaming City. Chao and Rick touched down on the icy surface of the frozen moon and loaded their weapons just in case.

“Huh... this place seems oddly familiar somehow.” Rick pondered as the two walked to the site Shaxx mentioned, which wasn’t easy because the wind was strong and snow was blowing around everywhere. Chao stayed quiet, he would either figure it out eventually, or wouldn’t. He hoped it was door number two.

“Alright, here we are.” He said looking up at the map and taking in the large expanse of ice sheets from the cliff of a glaicer. He looked confused until he saw the cargo ship encased in the mass of the cliff.

“So... where exactly is he thinking this area is going to be?” Rick asked and looked down at where Chao pointed. Rick gave a very pleased smirk. “Oh helllll yes!” Chao laughed and began to make his way down to the ship as Rick followed taking glances at the surroundings. He could see almost all of the planet in the distance.

~

Chao and Rick jumped down onto what was the dock of the Golden Age freighter and looked around. The ship was completely lodged into the ice so they didn’t need to worry about it coming down.

“I can see why Shaxx wanted to put it here, the view is amazing and this ship is the perfect size.” Rick nodded in agreement.

“Definitely, I could see point A here, point B over there and point C right....” He stopped and looked at the logo on the other half of the split ship. Chao glanced over to him and could tell something was wrong even without his helmet off.

“What’s wrong Rick? oh....” He saw the insignia that read clear as day the words every Exo started from: Clovis Bray...

“Clovis Bray?! But we’re not on Mars, we’re on..... Enceladus.” Rick paced around frantically and his vision began to become distorted like he was having flashbacks, except they weren’t, more like visions.

“Hey hey hey, Rick stay with me bud.” Chao said attempting to snap him out of it, it wasn’t working though. Rick’s vision got worse then it blackened and he saw the tower in the distance. Nestled into the mountain range with the city, the ice disappeared along with the ship and Chao was only seen as an enemy to him. Rick’s eyes turned red and he lunged at Chao with arc energy crackling in his fist. Chao jumped and put up his barricade.

“Rick what the hell?! This isn’t the time for a match!” Chao noticed his eyes and terror ran down his synthetic spine. Rick took out his shotgun and rushed him spraying shells that only bounced off his wall. He jumped over it and switched to his Lunas Howl firing hancannon rounds at Chao. Chao realized this was no Crucible fight, if he died now he would tear apart Servo and he’d die for good.

“Alright then Rick, if it’s a fight you want, then it’s a fight you’ll get.” He said switching to his Recluse that hit him dead on but didn’t kill him entirely. Rick made an attempt with his grenade launcher and Chao put up his Ward of Dawn to shield himself from the explosives. They bounced off and hit Rick which sent him flying toward the edge of the ship. Chao exited his bubble and walked over to him keeping his SMG aimed and ready. He couldn’t imagine what this was like for Rick. Rick picked himself back up holding his side and lunged at him slamming the ground in one final push. It knocked Chao off his feet but he quickly shut him down with a well placed tracking rocket. Rick was blasted away and Getty appeared to revive him.

~

“Phew! That was intense.” Chao said putting his weapons away. Rick was back soon and held his head in his hands.

“What... what happened? And why does everything hurt?” Chao helped him up and sat him down on a crate that was frozen shut.

“I honestly have no clue, but since we are on Enceladus I’m guessing the Crypt got to ya somehow...” Rick’s optics snapped open.

“The... the Crypt? Oh god Chao what did I do?!” He grabbed his head and looked down at the dock.

“Hey hey Rick calm down everything is fine okay? You just went a little nuts for a bit, all that matters now is you’re back.” He stopped panicking after a while and nodded slowly. Chao smiled knowing his friend was back but knew that they probably should leave soon in case it happened again.

“Hey?” Rick asked Chao looking at the box they were sitting on. “I think this is a weapon symbol.” Sure enough the crate had the letters CB and a rifle in the middle of the two.

“Well... what say we crack this thing open and see what’s inside? Glimmer from Shaxx will be nice buuuut it’s not like we should let these go to waste.” Chao said smirking and Rick nodded, punched the layer of frost off and shot the latch. A pile of weaponry spilled out onto the dock and Rick grabbed a machine gun.

“Ooh! That looks like it could pack a punch!” Chao said looking it over, it had a dark red paint job with vents on the side, probably to keep it from overheating, as well as the Clovis Bray insignia. Rick arched an eyebrow and slung it over his giant shoulders.

“Yeah well I saw it first soooo dibs.” Chao looked at him and grinned.

“Now Rick, you know our policy with dibs.” Rick cursed under his breath.

“If you call dibs and someone else challenges you fight for it.” He quoted. “Yeah yeah alright...” He put the gun up on another crate and readied his handcannon. “Ready to get your ass kicked Chao-5?” Chao laughed and loaded his Recluse.

“Nope! But I hope you are Rick-6!”

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

2 big posts in one day? it’s more likely than you think!!!

Moze gameplay breakdown babey here we go

shit sorry i forgot my tl;dr the first time i posted this: the tablet is big important and might have eridian writing on it, it ties into the temple, the loot gun, the tablet in tannis’s infirmary on sanc-iii, and the planet holograms in Eleseer from TPS. also you get a special melee tool to break the purple crystals that i'm like 70% sure are Eridium and also, you’re never gonna believe this, but I talk about Atlas for a little bit because of it.

“lair of the harpy”

ah harpies. I’m shifting into Percy Jackson mode

just putting this out there

anyway as for what “Lair of the Harpy” means in bl3? Well we’ve seen in the We Are Mayhem trailer a bunch of flying Maliwan bots (i am assuming rn that those are Maliwan, anyway)

these green fucks

(u can tell that’s Jakobs Manor cause of the railing on the left) so i imagine that’s why it’s called the Lair of the Harpy. Could also be the lair of some evil woman character, idk lmao. 

Far more interesting than the Harpy thing, to me anyway, is this:

i wonder if that’s gonna lead us to the psycho basement with tv heads being hanged where the Hammerlock siblings are standing in front of the fireplace

i wonder...

nah but for real. I would almost bet money that the Vault on Eden-6 is in that giant volcano/mountain area. It just feels right. we’ve seen it both dormant (the leaked footage) and active (the 3rd trailer) so I imagine opening the Vault would cause it to activate. Tho I’m still hoping onto the hope that it’s a moon pool. Just saying, Randy, if you’re reading this... just saying.

we also see this glowing sparkle icon again, which I think pretty much confirms from the We are Mayhem trailer that those will show us where the Moxxi crew quests are.

we see an enemy called “Shredder Fanatic”, personally I’m a fan of Splinter, but to each their own. Uhhh but for realsies they probably deal some blade damage or have a high RoF weapon. 

a cool detail I noticed about the minimap is that elevated areas won’t get discovered until you reach that level. Thank god lol

part of this camp is made out of an old sailboat, which i think is pretty fuckin rad

makes me wonder if we’re ever going to see the areas of Pandora affected by the flash freeze again. How long do seasons last on Pandora again? I swear it was like 5 years or smth. oh well lol

i wanna know what this big thing is!! it looks cool. they mentioned that eden-6 was going to have a shitload of broken-down ships, so maybe this is related to it?

another look at what i'm assuming is Jakobs Manor. this is very hard because I keep getting distracted by the gameplay lol I’ve seen this video seven times! it shouldn’t be that enthralling!! and yet!

the combat music in this area is so fucking solid btw i am jamming the hell out

in awe at the size of this place. I’m digging the elevated hallway. i am very much getting a hogwarts vibe from here. the far right looks like an observatory, even.

“Big Donny’s Chop Shop - Open 7 Days” lmao

a gramophone and it looks like we can interact with it! i hope it plays classical music while we go on a murder spree

some sort of bridge? i assume that’s how you actually get up to Jakobs Manor. that may be why our quest is “go to Jakobs Manor”, we gotta fix the bridge before we can.

A Typhon journal!!!

No audio, though :( 

From the radio: “catastrophe lead [???] to a lets play (flay?). Craving some meat in a bite sized package? then try festy flesh meats with a bandit on the go. hey, we know you want it, but do you have the time to hunt it down? ...”

-moxxi speaking about her crew challenge i can’t understand the radio here-

[different voice] “... for an exciting announcement from the CoV’s own ministers of murder: Pain and Terror! Those guys are cooking up one hell of a sh-” [player turns off radio] I gonna assume he was about to say “show” cause they’re a Penn and Teller reference. These are the guys from the arena with the giant skull thing, i think i have talked about them before?

Eden-6′s version of the shock cactus?

El Dragon Jr.

OwO are those the same purple rocks as Promethea?

They look like they are growing out of a stone tablet, i mean look at the green light. also they have that same star pattern inside them as Amara’s arms and Maya’s phaselock!!! Which makes me think it’s raw Eridium just... growing out of a stone tablet. which IS WILD!!!

AND WHAT IS MOZE HITTING IT WITH?!

FUCKING ENERGY BLADE

that is not her normal melee weapon, BY THE WAY

she normally uses her Stab! knife!!!

when u try to break the purple rocks on Promethea, iirc the player character can say something to the effect of “have to come back here later”, so it’s possible later in the story we get something (the glowing red/orange/yellow) energy sword to break the purple rocks (eridium???). and yes you KNOW i pointed out the colors because Atlas.

After meleeing it, Moze says “let’s open you up” so im wondering if maybe those stone tablets come into play later? the (eridium?) crystals explode into sparkly purple powder

glowing green!!!! It’s weird, I feel like these are eridian ruins/tablets growing eridium or some shit. we’ve seen the ruins have lines of color across them before, but never strictly on one side. and also never saw them grow eridium. i wonder if that is a reaction to us opening the second vault on pandora? eridium grew on pandora from the 1st one, now it’s spreading because of the second? I deffo think Eridium is from the second dimension (it started growing on pandora after the opening of the Vault) and it’s our key to getting there. 

OwO

hey doesn’t that look familiar? I’ll give u like

10 seconds

...

...

yeah it’s the symbol from the gun

YEAH BABEY

AND GUESS WHAT

YOU KNOW HOW THE GUN WAS TIED TO THE TEMPLE

YOU KNOW HOW I WAS TALKING ABOUT TANNIS’S FLOOR TILE IN HER INFIRMARY ALSO BEING TIED TO THE TEMPLE AREA???

LET ME GO GRAB IT

THE TEMPLE

AND YOU KNOW I WAS REPLAYING TPS THE OTHER DAY FOR MY ANGEL ANALYSIS AND

FUCKING

ASGHDJUYKFDJTYHSRTAGR

THAT’S LABELING A PLANET IN THE HOLOGRAM

AAAAAAAAAAAAA THE ERIDIANS GAVE US A LOOT SPEWING GUN BUT THE GUN MAKES SENSE BECAUSE VAULTS VOMIT UP LOOT ALL THE TIME BUT IT’S NOT LIKE THE LOOT WE GOT WAS AROUND WHEN THE ERIDIANS CREATED THE VAULTS

ALSO I AM VERY CONCERNED THAT CORPSE IN THE TEMPLE IS TYPHON NOW AND THE BOOK IS HIS JOURNAL. WHY WOULD MAYA BE GIVING THE JOURNAL TO THE LITTLE GIRL? IS SHE ALSO RELATED TO TYPHON?

OKAY SORRY I GOT EXCITED but uh yeah idk if that writing/those symbols being the same was intentional or not but it exists and i'm losing my mind over it

i also just wanna know why the rocks are growing eridium and glowing green like what the fuck are your SECRETS 

Aurelia shows up as you cross the checkpoint at the bridge, so it’s pretty much 100% confirmed the Hammerlocks are helping us with the jakobs thing. considering Aurelia is contacting us and not Alistar, im REALLY worried about the shot in the We Are Mayhem trailer where he has red eyes. please don’t hurt him. also i love how Aurelia calls herself a rich bitch. she makes that shit rhyme lol

another look at that big tower thing. May be a different one, actually. idk!

round the corner and see a little camp on the left. through that tunnel up ahead leads us here

we head to the right and Zer0 ECHOs us, asking us to kill someone to complete a crew challenge

The target’s name is Heckle (and his rage name is Hyde)

Interestingly he has a megaphone strapped to his mouth

wild.

Lots of stuff! Zer0 sends you mail for killing the target and you are informed that the Crew Challenge is completed. You also get a challenge completed for doing it. You ever notice the actual gameplay of borderlands is very tied to yellow and blue? the color of the title is yellow and the vault symbol for it is red (except for TPS). just odd to me idk

looks like a little envelope icon appears under your minimap when you have mail in your inbox!

we can see some cryo freezing the swamp water here! that’s my favorite thing. the electricity is cool, but ice is cooler.

i love the way this dude runs. also we now know that his pickaxe is to burrow his way into the ground

looks like it will create a huge pink cloud so you know when its about to happen, giving you time to stop it. nice.

getting closer. guess that wasn’t an observatory after all. Awww mannn

lootsplosion from the loot tink

bigger lootsplosion from his bag

i believe this is our first look at an ‘artifact’ which are replacing relics from bl2 and oz kits from tps. and like the interviews said, they’ll be effecting movement! this one turns your slide damage into cryo damage, lets you deal more radiation damage overall, and allows you to slide faster and further. i wonder how broken this can get on a downwards slope with a super high level slide relic. let’s break the sound barrier!

anyway, that’s all i saw that caught my eye. I still haven’t completed my Mask of Mayhem analysis, I was kinda hoping something during E3 would help me figure out who those mystery robed maliwan guys are on it, but alas we got nothing of real substance. oh, i also gotta finish that mural piece... aw fuck

[bosmerbitch]

Lemme tell you how I got into Skyrim. This shit is fucking bad, very very high up on the dumbass scale, so here we go.

Some backstory, so I have an excuse to why I’m so fucking bad at this

When I was growing up, I surrounded myself in Nintendo. My step brother was also a Nintendo nerd, so we didn’t stray all that much. The only time I ever heard Skyrim get referenced was by the douchebag Homophobic Dude Bros™ that were in art class just to try and get an easy grade, so let’s just say it left a sour taste in my mouth.

I moved to Nevada when I was 18 and all they had was a broken Xbox 360. My friend Chris thought I’d like Fable, and really, really did, because I literally finished it in just a few weeks. But when I tried to replay it (evil this time) I couldn’t even complete the first important task because I felt bad for being a horrible person. (the first Big choice you have is to execute some dude you’re supposed to be in love with or a group of protesters that are trying to feed their families).

So he goes, “look. Just try Skyrim.”

And I go, “no.” yaknow, like an idiot.

He wouldn’t believe me when I said I wanted nothing to do with it, because I did admit I had never, ever played it before. So he plays it in front of me for a good week or so. And as per his grand plan, I start to get curious.

And also fucking infuriated.

This dude snuck everywhere. He only used light armor. He never got close enough to an enemy to force him to draw a dagger. He wouldn’t use horses. His play style was his, no judgement—but yakno. it drove me up the fucking wall. If I had to sit through two more hours of this man slowly crab walking his ass up the seven thousand steps because he refused to walk like a normal person lest his sneak skill maybe possibility suffer by one point, I think i’d go full feral.

So I said fuck it, grabbed the controller, and started a new game.

I create a Bosmer character who looks like she could punch me and I’d apologise for my face being in the way of her fist, because i am gay. I then spend 3 thousand years on babyname websites, trying my darndest to find a name that fit her face.

Dumbass Mistake number one: I press A to input the first letter.

“wait. This isn’t a GameCube controller. Fuck.”

I actually press B.

As in. Save and exit.

Do you want to name your character Prisoner?

“what? No!”

I press A, thinking it’s B.

My name is now Prisoner.

Now I’m pissed, but I’ve spent way too much time in the character creation screen to warrant a re-do. I am stuck with a Woodelf named Prisoner.

This becomes part of her lore later on. She was raised in a prison and only ever referred to as “prisoner” when she was little, so she took it as her name but dropped the e for an o when she was learning to write because she was literally a baby who couldn't spell: Prisonor.

Dumbass Mistake #2: I’m so used to autocameras that follow the player and find decent enough angles without me having to jam the stick back and forth that I can not for the life of me fucking Look At Shit Correctly.

I almost died. Do you know how bad you have to be to nearly die in the opening tutorial? It was as if i’d decided to play with my fucking elbows instead of my hands, I was flailing about like a lunatic. All while Alduin moved around and threw rocks at people, too, and my camera work was so bad it looked as if Bethesda had actually made a good scene to convey the horror and terror of the situation. Fuck you Bethesda

Dumbass Mistake #3: heavy armor. This was, and will continue to be, my downfall. Kiss half my fucking carry weight capacity goodbye because this Bad Bitch Needs Those High Armor Stats.

Oh, what? You need to sneak into a cave and steal some shit? Well you now have too options, you absolute Unit. You heavy as fuck bone armor thicc thot.

It’s either: a) sneak as is and get detected the moment your big toe even twitches upwards or b) go streaking for a few in-game hours and stuff all that contraband.... Somewhere. Don’t really know where it goes, to be honest.

Naked but stealthy. Stealthy.... But naked.

Obviously I go streaking quite a lot at first.

As I got bigger and heavier armor and weapons, I started plowing through dungeons by sheer force alone. Mind you, Prisonor is small, angry, and has a huge axe, so it just works®

Mistake #4: no Stamina. We trudge slowly to shadowmere like a woman with infinite health and literally nothing else. I think I maybe slipped her one or two levels into Stamina, and absolutely nothing in Magicka. Actually,

Dumb of Ass Mistake number 5: no god damned Magicka. It became such a problem that i would tell Chris to remind me next time when I was leveling up, to possibly add to poor widdle Magicka pwease? And I never did, since we’d both forget, and hit “health” with a smug little smile in my face. Try and kill me, douches. I have 300 health and counting. Wait. Wait hold on I fucking forgot—

I gave her the first novice hood you find in the game, dusted off my hands as if i’d just solved all of humanity’s inherent problems, and walked. Away.

It’s now part of her backstory. She can’t grow her Magicka because her mother was a skooma addict when she was pregnant, and it fucked with a few things when she was in the womb. can you tell that her backstory is a little fucked up? Well hold on, don't have much faith in me yet, because i killed her adopted dad too lmao #hewasexecutedforpoliticalgainbecausehewasalargethreattothescoomatradeinhammerfell

Mistake #6: hello my name is Prisonor and I would like to tell you about the future of the Companions, do you have a spare minute?

Chris pointed at Whiterun as I sprinted, naked (for speed, because I am already trudging the path of Heavy Armor even at that point) down the hill from Riverwood and said, “you can become a werewolf over there.”

Oh? I can become a tormented, feral, roaring beast over there yonder? Well sign me the fuck up you funky little bitch.

So I completed the whole questline all the way through with no stops. I didn’t like the fact that nearly everyone was a Nord, but it had less context for me at the time so it rubbed me wrong less than I does now.

But hold on. You get something at the end of that quest, right? A huge axe with a lot of history I didn’t really delve that deep into at the time?

Yes. Yes I did build a heavy armor, no-archery, werewolf, Wuuthrad-wielding Bosmer named Prisonor my first playthrough.

She was the ultimate rebel without me even trying to be. To the point where her axe is more deadly to herself than to her own wife.

Dumb #7: I threw the Ring of Hircine in a lake thinking it was useless.

That’s it. I’m still mad about it.

In conclusion,

The hard drive in the 360 was shit, so the load times were awful. Sunk 80$ on a new hard drive and had to sit on the floor waiting for the saves to transfer for 3 hours.

Good game solid 7,000steps out of 5

[blake-nikos]

DMing  with a troublesome player pt 2  plus game zero

Okay so i had my session zero  at my  birthday party  (pretty much just a BBQ lunch before D&D cos  apparently  im 28 now so yay me  i guess )  And for over a month Ive been telling my players to make characters,  and what dose miss troublesome do nothing  no character at all not even a idea for a character... yay me  I’m thinking  and say “ well your just spectating then,  you had plenty of time to get ready” and  one of my other players can see the tantrum building in her face and the other player just says “i can just roll up a random character for you,”    as shes accepts that  and seems fine making the whole table wait over half a hour for her...  but while thats happening i start the game and let the ready players introduce themselves and RP a bit  and talk to npcs and get the game moving  so they are not just sitting there bored. all the other players  have been gathered around a table drinking  thanks to one of the players  being a loud drunk dwarf that wants to make friends  and go on adventures.    as i go to introduce her character  she “yells i dont want to go inside   i want to climb onto the roof  and just sit there”  the first fucking thing she dose    is that “lol Im so random shit”     to i say “ fine you dont meet the a party  you dont get any quest information  and the guards are going to see you and try to arrest  you for trespassing/ being a public nuisance”    and there go’s  another 10 minuets  of her arguing with the other players . ending with  a reluctantly and aggressive “fine  i’ll go inside but im not sitting with the group”      at this point  im just starring at  one of my other players who also GM’s    just like having a physic conversation with each other  as hes about as frustrated as i am. Time go’s on they get the  starter quest  and go into the sewers to find what is killing the giant rats   its a phase spider btw  there going through  get jumped by some rats and come across a giant rat-king but not before they split the party... well not really   3 went to kill the rat-king the rest waited  down the path a bit about 4 rounds of combat  with 2 experienced and one skipping his turn  cos  is PC  cant  keep line of sight  and cant see in the dark.... so 2 players and 1 enemy doing combat, they know what they are doing, combats quick they know there actions  and spells  but  4 rounds and about 3-4 minutes in real time later.  miss troublesome screams  at the table  breaking the flow of combat  yelling “im bored   i want to do something!   my character walks down the path! away from the party”      at this point the players remind her this his what happens when you split the party,    her response is” well my character gets bored easy” In my head im screaming  “fucking really!  the character with such a developed backstory  and personalty that you had someone else  fucking randomly generated a hour ago!   thats bullshit and you fucking know it,  you are using that as such a cop out its ridiculous“           I say none of this of coarse but remind her it has only  been 24 seconds in game,  your character  has that short attention span you would walk off  alone  in a place where you have see people get ambushed twice.  the other players  in character stop her  like what the fuck are you doing  but she still walks  30 feet way    ( i should have let her go her max  distance and  get her self killed )     any way they kill the rat king some cool rp stuff happens  and the party finds the phase spiders nest   she trys to get the webs of the ceiling and they fall on her basically putting her in a grapple state  oh damn just that caused drama with her. the spider  tries to stealth kill some of the party but  fails 3 times  (just unlucky rolls for it )   eventual it dose a good chunk of damage to the party and kills one out right a legit death in my first game.  ( there are healers in town that have revivify and the friendly drunken dwarf  fireman carries that high elf rogue  out of the sewer  as quick as he can   and the elf is saved  at the last second but that death is actually given the player some cool rp ideas so it all works out )  any way the spider is knocked down to 3 hp  and it phases out and runs. the remaining players  including miss troublesome  find 3 people webbed up in the spiders nest  2 young girls and a man all in black,  the cleric wakes him up as miss troublesome  is digging through his pockets  and finds all his stolen goods  and his daggers...  i let her know what she found and list all the stolen items and his weapons  shes says she “ takes them,  and i throw the daggers away”          hes says he cant walk  she she picks him up over her shoulder and tries to pickpocket his loot back   but notices the cleric watching him,  till he sees the party's rogue  and tells him in “thieves cant”  he’ll split the loot  he has hidden  if he gets him out of here  the rogue  agrees and tries to convince the other players  to let the thief go but they dont want to so,  the thief grabs a massive egg sack off the wall and slams it on to the  miss troublesome’s  head covering the her in baby spiders,  he grabs his loot as the party's rogue  chases him then  leads the party in the wrong direction  letting the thief escape.   out of game   she asks why he attacked  “you took his loot  you know hes a thief why would he let you just take him and his stuff”       then she carries on for another 5 minuets  yelling “ i didn't take his stuff!!  just his daggers”     the whole table  looked at her  at this point   one player says you have to be  specific and she fucken starts to cry “i did but no one listens to me “     again  shes 30   and she was the only one talking at the time  and not to mention the countless times she tried to start random convos  with other players about out of game stuff while they were trying to RP the rest was all rp stuff and went  smoothly.    this post is already long enough  but  that was my first game GMing Evey one liked it “apparently” even miss troublesome  even tho everyone was frustrated by her.   I might do a more of a campaign diary type post  if people are interested and try not to make it about miss troublesome some     May the GM gods  THE MATTHEWS  Mercer & Colville  pleas give me strength and guide me.       

[dietaku]

Amazing Quest 1: Chapter 1

An older project I was part of. This isn’t going to replace Photon Breaker Zechs; just something else for you all to enjoy. This is an Infrequently Asked Questions; a walk-through for a game which doesn’t exist.

Cast:

Hiro D. Protagonist

Class: Pudding Warrior

Element: Light

Weapons: Swords/Shields

The hero of the story, he has the ability to transform into the powerful Pudding form. He also is something of an idealist and romantic; something both his party-members and enemies capitalize on (read: rib on endlessly).

Ozma Zorus Toruble

Class: Martial Princess

Element: Fire

Weapons: Knuckles

The princess of the Toruble kingdom, and practitioner of the ancient fighting art of Tsien-Do. She has many detractors (Waaa, waaaaa, MUH MOE PRINCESS) but her head-exploding effectiveness cannot be denied.

Kimyawa

Class: Ninja Elite

Element: Wind

Weapons: Shuriken

A buxom kunoichi that Hiro and Ozma rescues from the Dark Puddings, she is a cheerful young woman and also a complete glass cannon. Her toss ability, combined with her insane speed and high attack makes her popular with offensively-minded players.

Loyroll

Class: The Loyroll

Element: N/A

Weapons: Swords

Loyroll. Just Loyroll. There's really no other way to describe Kimaywa's brother. Well, alright, I'll try. Imagine Elton John and Oscar Wilde. Those two fused into one being combined with every Kurosawa hero, that's Loyroll. He fights the Dark Puddings, but only between his true calling: fighting Dinosaurs. Can you match his tempo?

Mancala

Class: Happy Merchant Mermaid

Element: Water

Weapons: Abacus

A ruthless capitalist mermaid who seeks to further her own ends, no matter the cost. This means she'll stoop to no low to keep her investments in the black. Good thing for Hiro, she's on his side, lest his life would be a living hell. Wait....

Moore

Class: Miner

Element: Earth

Weapons: Shovels

An unlucky miner who is trapped by Modt of the Dark Pudding's Heavenly Kings. If you rescue him, you gain a robust, steadfast companion, unfazed by the weirdness that Hiro seems to attract. Not that it makes the World of Dreams any more tolerable. :\

Deima

Class: Furry (Nyuck-Nyuck)

Element: N/A

Weapons: Staves

A powerful Chimera sorceress that assisted ancient Puddings seal Halst away. Her powerful magic makes her a potent ally, as does her adamant refusal to wear pants. She adds a.....unique air to Hiro's party.

Emilia the Sword God

Class: Dark Pudding Slayer

Element: N/A

Weapons: Emilia's Saber

If you manage to acquire Emilia's saber then you gain Hiro's brusque older sister as an ally. Her powerful Pease Pudding form makes her a much-needed relief to the unrelenting late-game. A shame, then, that she cannot use any weapons save her own saber.

Walk-through:

Chapter 1: From one Fire to....Another Fire!

(It is an Age of Myth. The Great Clan of Pudding has always sought to slay Evil and pursue Justice. To this end, they threw down the evil goddess Halst and sealed her in her Higher Realms. To keep her there, they made five Talismans of Power. However, in recent years, a legend of a goddess who can grant any wish if all Talismans are gathered has been circulating. Because of this, half of the Puddings have turned on their brethren. These Dark Puddings seek to dominate the world, and only their embattled cousins, the Light Puddings, can stop them....

It is an Age of Myth, and War. This is the Amazing Quest.)

(A group of people are in a house, as one runs in)

Man: The Dark Puddings are attacking!

You then take control of one of the people, the teenaged Hiro. Talk to the older looking woman In the corner with the green cloak and the blue hair.

Woman: Ah, Hiro, you're here. Those Dark Pudding bastards have arrived. I want you to get to the cellar. You're our last hope!

Hiro: But, Emilia! The Dark Puddings! They'll--

Emilia: Leave it to me! My P-Centage is the highest of our family!

(Emilia then leaves out of the door to the right)

You then take control of Emilia. Make your way outside, and you'll see the village is on fire. To the northeast is a series of turbaned soldiers and a single redheaded woman in a fez.

Fez Woman: Ah, Emilia the Sword God makes her appearance. Soldier! What is her P-Centage?

Soldier:(Fiddling with a handheld screen) It's....It's over--

Fez Woman: I swear to Lulz, if you continue down this road, you'll be sorry!

Soldier: Yes, Lady Jaydea! Her P-Centage is just short of Four Thousand.

Jaydea: Heh, I didn't think the Sword God was so weak. Soldiers! Dispose of her!

(Five soldiers surround Emilia)

Emilia: I'm getting way too elegant for this shit.

You're then thrust into a battle with five D. Pudding Soldiers. This isn't even a challenge. Merely engage Pudding Form, and use the Steam Breath attack to kill them all. Something that always gets me, though, is Emilia's arm shaking idle-motion, as if she's pleasuring her energy saber. How very phallic, Jeffcom.

Jaydea: ….Interesting...But there's one thing you did not calculate.

Emilia: That you're a punk-ass bitch?

Jaydea: You insolent little cur!

You're then thrust into battle with Jaydea. However, there's nothing you can do. After three turns, she'll engage her Pudding form, and it's over. However, for funniness' sake, use Emilia's “Choice Words” skill to make Jaydea freak out at your sick burns.

Jaydea: (Standing over Emilia's smoldering body) I think we're done here. Men! Move out!

You then take control of Hiro, and can move freely about. The Dark Puddings are no longer there, but the village, or Firstown, as the store owner tells you, is in ruins.

Pudding Elder: Hiro! You survived!

Hiro: I know, it was crazy!

Pudding Elder: I am sorry to say, your sister has passed away--

Hiro: Emilia?! NOOOOOOOOOOO

Pudding Elder: Let me finish! She and that Jaydea woman passed away over the Far Bridge, past Ddimel Nowhere! If you hurry, you can get to her! Hiro, you are the product of a breeding program to counter the Dark Puddings. Now is your chance to prove your worth!

Hiro: Wow, um, I'll do my best!

Pudding Elder: Yeah, no pressure or anything, but we're all depending on you.

Hiro: Erm, thanks.

The first thing to do after the elder tells you this is to go onto the Overworld, and grind until you reach level 5, when you get the Rice Pudding form. After you do so, make your way to the east, to a tower there. The sign calls it the Fog Tower, but its actual name in Japanese was “Toad Fortress,” so good going, translation team!

--Fog Tower--

The first thing you'll note, is that the humidity of the Tower lowers your speed significantly. Also, the tower has much tougher enemies than outside, with such lovelies as the Smooch Toad, the Friendly Frog, and the Sweaty Fly all tougher than the munchkins outside. However, you can easily get up to levels 8-9 thanks to them, so search around. The tower is pretty straightforward, and the healing fountains make it even easier. You'll find a buckler, several dengakus, and a Frog Diadem helmet.  After you get all of these items, head to the northwest, where you'll find a dog dressed in a frog costume.

Frog-Dog: Woofwoofwoof! Now, we frogs will take over the region, all thanks to those Dark Puddings!

Hiro: Um, hello! Can I go through?

Frog-Dog: Woofwoofwoof! You! And that birthmark in the shape of a submarine! You must be the one Lady Jaydea told me of! We Frogs will not stand for this!

Hiro: Um, excuse me? I'm pretty sure you're a dog, not a frog.

Dog: That is impossible! I have smooth skin and a long tongue!

Hiro: That's a costume, and you're panting.

Dog: What of my regal bearing and webbed feet?

Hiro: What about your wagging tail?

Dog: I'll smash you to Kibbles and WOOF!

--Boss Battle!--

Frog-Dog King x1

LP: 1000

MP: 250

The Frog-Dog King  is tough, unless you try Rice Pudding. Once you do, the sheer force of your awesome, stupendous...pathetically weak Pudding Form causes the King to double over with laughter, rendering him unable to act for the rest of the battle. Then, simply revert and assault him with normal attacks. If not, then prepare for “Sticky Tongue” and Water-1 to smack you to pieces. Not hard in either case, but still...

--Boss Battle!--

Frog-Dog King: WOOFWOOFWOOF! SO FUNNY! (Explodes)

Hiro: I'm the product of Pudding Eugenics, and I'm STILL this weak? What happened?

(At this, the air in the Tower cleared as the Frog-Dog's panting ceased)

At this, head outside, to find a grateful king and his entourage.

King: Ah, great Hero! You saved my castle from those detestable frogs!

Hiro: You too? It was a dog!

King: Now that the evil Frog King has been slain, we of Dimopint will happily assist against the Dark Puddings!

(At this point, the earth shakes and tosses everyone to the ground. The Fog Tower then collapses right in front of you)

King: Great God, the Dark Puddings must have [Quake Control]!

Hiro: How'd you do that?

King: Eh?

Hiro: Make something seem all important?

King: Oh, It's something that comes with the [Plot], now Hero, since you possess the [Holy Birthmark] you ought to take care of the Dark Puddings and their earthquakes! They have a camp to the southeast. Please avenge our home!

Hiro: (Grumbles)

You then need to proceed to the southeast, as directed, which will lead you to a city on the coast. You need to wait until it's night before you continue on, though, as the Dark Pudding soldiers will capture you, and therefore cause a Game Over. Once it's night, though, half of the Dark Puddings are asleep, allowing you to sneak by. Beware, though, those strange guns that they're carrying hurt, and if you alert them, they'll call more to compensate any you manage to defeat. Once you reach the middle of the city, there's a small building labeled “ Headquarters” enter there to find another dungeon, the Dark Pudding Underground.

--Dark Pudding Underground--

The Dark Pudding Underground is an interesting place. Apparently, the Dark Puddings either drilled directly into Hell or somehow managed to safely harness lava for their own purposes. Anyways, the path is straightforward, with few dead ends. I recommend leveling to 10 here before proceeding on to the end. You'll see why. After you find a rope bridge going north, be warned, a boss awaits you.

(Hiro walks across a bridge to see Jaydea conversing with a gigantic man wearing a metal helmet and another turbaned soldier)

Jaydea: The Light Puddings are no more, save for that so-called “God of Swords”

Man: We'll find a use for her soon enough. What of the search for the Talismans?

Soldier: (Pulls a silk sheet off a podium, revealing a gleaming brown jewel) My Lord, Zoddon, we have found it! The Earth Talisman!

Zoddon: Excellent, with this, our ambition is almost within our grasp.

Hiro: Hey! What are you doing? Where's Emilia?

Zoddon: Who is this?

Jaydea: Some pipsqueak of the Light Puddings. With the Sword God in our possession they have no notable fighters left.

Zoddon: Is that so? Boy, I'll say this for your own sake. Go back. This world...is corrupt. We of the Dark Puddings need to execute this ambition, for your sake, ours' and the entire World.

Hiro: And you burned down my village and kidnapped my sister for....what exactly?

Zoddon: I tire of this. Jaydea, dispose of him...

Jaydea: Torzus, dispose of him.

Torzus: (The soldier from earlier) Yes, my lady!

Zoddon: If you manage to survive this era, then come to see me again. I will be in the city of Gemadne on the Far Continent.

Hiro: You'll see!

(Jaydea and Zoddon step on a blue circle to the right and warp off)

Torzus: Don't forget about me, fool!

--Boss Battle!--

Torzus x1

Vulcan Machine x1

Torzus Stats

LP: 2000

MP: 300

Vulcan Machine Stats

LP: 1000

MP: 0

Torzus is difficult not because of himself, but because of the machine behind him. Every so often, he'll use the “Torzus fiddled with the Vulcan Machine” action, and you'll take 40+ damage due to seismic activity. The trick is to focus on the Vulcan Machine, until it dies, which will kill Torzus.

--Boss Battle!--

Torzus: Ugh, my brothers will avenge me!

(Torzus shifts the range dial to “Entire Continent” and smashes the ignition, as the machine hums and sparks dangerously)

Torzus: (Salutes) LIFE AND PROSPERITY TO EMPEROR ZODDON! (Explodes)

Hiro: Again with the exploding. I hope I don't do that.

Quickly, interact with the machine, which describes the “Massive energy flowing out of the machine.” It then asks if you'd like to remove the Earth Talisman. Do so, and then walk over to the blue circle where Zoddon and Jaydea warped out of. There's actually a hidden timer here, and if thirty seconds pass without you getting the Earth Talisman and walking over to the circle, then you'll get a Game Over, as the city explodes, and you get the message that “The Era of War never Ended”

However, if you DO...

Hiro: WARP!

(Nothing happens and the shaking grows stronger)

Hiro: Uh....WARP! WARP! WARP! PLEASE!

(The circle begins to spark)

Hiro: Oh, Cra--

(The entire Dark Pudding Camp explodes violently, collapsing into the earth, as Hiro is launched violently into the sky)

(Meanwhile, in nearby Toruble, a Pyrophobics Anonymous picnic is taking place, as a flaming star descends on it)

Hiro: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

(The Picnic is then consumed by the impact, leaving a smoldering crater, which a large, muscle-bound woman looks into)

[survivormanhattanbeach]

Episode 1: “...too early to be shady?”-Ryan

There....are so many men and I'm overwhelmed. Also Keaton shading me during his intro is a whole ass mood 

I’m so excited to be playing with majority of this cast... too early to be shady? 

Oooooooofffff what the hell did I just get myself into. Julian’s here. He always finds some fucking way i swear to god... and then there’s Keaton who i pissed off in a prior BB game... which literally ended like 3 days ago for me.... and then i ahve Andreas form Kuang Si and Billy from IdlM.... what the fuck is wrong with my life right now I mean...... i’ll figure this out, let me stop having a heart attack right now

I am SO OVERWHELMED right now! All these messages from people that I think hate me, this is going to be fun! As of right now I'm most nervous about Sarah because I LOVE talking to her, she's so easy to talk to but we always do each other wrong and have never made it far together in anything SO yeah. I'm really hoping that I get on a tribe where I connect with a majority and/or two of them don't like each other so I'm not the first to go! I guess it's time to now... go and be social haha! 

When did talking to people become so hard??? Idk if it's because I've been away kind of for awhile and not talking to people but I feel like I'm the most boring person in the world AHHH. Hopefully things get better soon. I'm about to ignore that annoying red number two by the skype icon and play the game for a bit to maybe give me something to talk about with these people!! 

http://atleastyoumadejury.tumblr.com/post/182902334923 That’s me in this challenge. 

First night = first opinions! Let's go. -called isaac immediately to form a bond with him. He seems super stoked to have me in the season and we agreed to form a f2 deal. Honestly he is funny, adorable and iconic so I am not mad if I go to f2 with him. I will be loyal to him as long as I know he is loyal to me -mark is very social and I know he uses this to his advantage. Every cute thing he is saying, he is definitely saying to the other players -I can easily bond with basically everyone on this season so I feel like this is going somewhere. I can tell ppl are liking me so honestly I am fucking excited to play --went on a one world call with ryan, tom, madison, dani, isaac and myself and they are cool af. I know ryan and tom used to work together from the beginning of mykonos so I am kinda scared they are a definite power duo. Tom has already proven to be a good player in terms of strength and I can tell hes strategic. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE HIS #1 SO I WILL WORK ON IT. fuck I need to get on his good side to get far. i can tell. I just dont want him to screw me over - Junior is playing and I guess he is the shadiest person in the game? SO I will be on the lookout for that. -Ruthie needs to leave. -Keaton hates madison so I can use that to my advantage somehow ? well see. -I am going to continue to talk and be social but honestly I dont want to give away too much. Im back after a year so I hope I can go far this time. Fingers crossed

I’ve smelled some fake shit before, but nothing quite as fake as Ryan trying to squash the beef with me. I’m flutter my lashes and play stupid for a while, but in all honesty, I want him gone as early as possible. I don’t trust him, at all. Also, Dan is sneaky as fuck. So I don’t trust him either. Plus I’ve hosted him and I know he’s only in it for himself. He’s vote himself out if it meant he’d win the game. But then there’s Mark, who has played with and been burned by both Ryan and Dan. Between the three of them I’m just not feeling him. I don’t want to be his demise, but I wouldn’t be sad to use him to kill the other two then dump him before he gets farther than me. Kill three birds with Mark’s stone. As for y’all hosts, thanks for dumping me with Madison, Joey and Keaton. Who will keep me around just as a number. They think I’m stupid and I have no idea what I’m doing. Same goes with Brandon. Like I love “OH MY GOD HEWWO”ing my friends. Another main, another season where I’ll just do whatever I can to make it far. Here’s to a good season. 

VL Confessional: This is my greatest chance to FINALLY make an impact on Tumblr Survivor. The minute I was casted, my ranking average went up. What I want to do this season is to take advantage of the time that I have. I want to do well, I want to finally prove how good I CAN be. This is my opportunity to bond with a ton of other players, and I’m READY FOR IT. My mood rn: https://youtu.be/roJ5NSfmxvs

I feel like this game is lowkey a test of Madison and I’s relationship...

VL CONFESSIONAL I’m sitting here on my couch watching the TV They’re picking all the numbers of my favorite lottery I am so excited when fortune calls I’ve never been so happy with someone picking my balls.

Oh god, I shouldn't write any of those weird and unsettling oneliners that I have in mind right now, so.... Hello! Just hello! I'm back for another Tumblr Survivor fun time and I have no idea what to expect from myself for this season. Will I have motivation? HELL YEAH! Will I have the time to back it up? NOPE!!! So... let's start with a little cast assessment, shall we? I already know that I am lucky to have LUCY around, because I know her from another community. That being said, she is a great player, so if she is active this time around, she'll definitely make it further than last time... So far though, it doesn't look like that... :sadface: I am also THRILLED to see RUTHIE playing. I love her, and we only got to play once (in a BB game that ended after 2 weeks) and I happy to see her and I really hope we can work together this season!!! I have mixed feelings about MARK and BRANDAN rn, because I've played in TS with them previously. I pissed off Brandan a lot in Kuang Si when I told him that I wanted him out. I hope he's gotten over that, but I feel like he's not the type of person to forget. But I think he'll be willing to give playing with me another try, but he'll keep me on a short leash. Mark, I voted off in Flops, and then I flipped him to vote for me in the worst FTC of TS history. But the guy is strongheaded and idk how well I can work with that. I've had great conversations with TOM and KEVIN and I feel like they're people I can talk to a lot more, and maybe build a relationship with. I had some decent chats with SARAH, DANIELLE, ISAAC and MADISON. I can't place them yet, but I think I can get along with them. I got off the wrong foot with ISAIAH and RYAN a little, but they seem fun and I can see myself working with them in the future. Or maybe I am just imagining things here? Who knows.... KEATON, JOEY and BILLY, I tried talking to, but I am really not sure yet if we're on the same wavelength. But they seem active enough and open, and it's not even been a day yet. ;) JUNIOR, DAN, JAKE and JULIAN, I haven't spoken with at all so far. rip? --- Let me tell you that I really like it being 4 Tribes of 5 to start the season off (at least that's what it looks like). I don't care too much about being a top-placing player here. I don't think I'd be immediately at the bottom right off the bat, so I don't need that unneccessary potential challenge threat target right away. I think I've spoken to enough people and got a little bit of that Andreas personality across, so I at least have a foot in peoples doors, you know? Let's see how things shake up! I am confident for starters, but that's the point of it, isn't it?

I’ve only talked game with a few people which kinda scares me. I also think a lot of this cast has previous relationships and I only know like 2 people. I love Isaac, Jake, Ryan, and Mark. I need to start socializing more.

hellurrrrr we're back and better than ever! first tumblr org since like... July so I'm feeling pretty rusty. Thankfully I have a couple familiar faces in this cast so I'm not too nervous. I was pretty excited to see Dani cast... we literally went to middle school together LOL. I want to keep that a secret, but Joey already knows because Dani has her location set to my city UGH. So now I gotta hope that Joey doesn't blow that cover. I know Kevin from Zwooper but idk how loyal he actually will be to me. I know Dan, Ruthie, Isaac and Madison from previous games but I don't think we worked well together in them so whoops. RYAN is here which I'm excited for. I want to work with him, he seems sweet. I also know Sarah because she made Eddie cry so I already love ha. But Eddie told me she's crazy in games so maybe I should tread carefull with her for now. I think everyone else is a fresh face to me? So this should be interesting. Half of them haven't even added me yet though so they need to step their pussies up. I'm here to win since that's the only placement I could get that will beat my last placement LOL. But I'm not trying to let an ORG make me go cray cray like Crossroads did... but it probably will <3

Ok, so. This whole picking tribes thing, has just got to go. I have multiple people telling me they are putting me first and although I love being first for once, this might not be the best thing for my game. If a random person I haven’t played with picks me, that looks shady. If one of my MANY previous allies picks me, that looks shady. Oh and there’s that thing where Billy and I squashed beef, and hopefully that can stay because I don’t need a giant target on my back for billy being my only enemy in all of the games I’ve ever played. If this tribe swap is 4 tribes of 5 then I need to make sure my people pick wisely and make sure that they have the 3 they need to keep a majority. The only issue with that, is I’m essentially in the middle of 5 groups: Mykonos, Bermuda, Unova (Pacific Island), Guyana, and then anyone I haven’t played. Take the union of those sets and you have the entire cast Manhattan Beach (yes I did just use math language, no I am not ashamed).

Imma make Jake think im his bitch. “Oh Jake, ill vote out my best friend, and someone who I respect as a host to boost your ego!”

Alright, Day 1 is nearing its end and I've made some progress I feel? So to get right to it: I've spoken a bunch with Danielle and Kevin and they've spoken a lot with each other too, so we're trying to get together on a tribe of 3. The plan right now is to hopefully get one of us in the top 4 (me), I pick Kevin, Kevin picks Danielle, and we've got an easy majority if it's tribes of 5. Now, we don't know if we actually split up in 4 of 5, or 2 of 10, or 4 of 5 but we have Tribal Councils with 2 tribes together. It's impossible to call right now. As a small addition to my first confessional, some final cast assessments: JUNIOR: A very friendly guy. I feel like he's genuine, but he's definitely VERY friendly, and I am not used to that level of friendliness in TS. But I think we good rn DAN: We spoke about Germany and that's about it. We have a little basis. JAKE: We spoke a little about politics, so at least we spoke and have a basis. Not much more than that. JULIAN: Dude... you seem so nice, but you are giving off no confidence in yourself. I don't have much more to say than that right now. I fear that he'll be used as a number by someone rn --- I got some good chats with KEATON and ISAAC going. And that's about it! I hope that I get put on a tribe with KEVIN, DANI, LUCY, RUTHIE, TOM, KEATON... and maybe SARAH. Just bring on the tribes, so I can finally start playing this game. One World is too big for me.

I'm pretty confident with my score for this challenge, I think it's enough to at least show my future tribe that I can do my part in the challenges, and hopefully I get somewhat of a say in who will be on my tribe. For my social game, I'm definitely planning to use me being the first boot on Guyana to my advantage. I've heard from Andreas and checked a bit as well that there's some fierce competition in this cast, and I think I can slide by for quite a while as long as I make some good connections. I know Dani, Andreas and Ryan from outside of this season, and those will be some people I could rely on from the beginning (not sure about Ryan though for that one since we don't know each other that well). Also I don't know what it is about Ruthie, but she seems so sweet and I'd love to get to work with her further down the line.

I love my tribe so much! It is PERFECT! Literally they are all people that I've talked to since the game started and I don't have any issues with any of them. I'm really glad especially that Andreas is on my team and I think that all in all we will have a strong tribe going forward! I don't want to get too cocky but I do feel confident in my position on this tribe! Nowwww if only we can win and stay away from tribal council! 

Honestly, what is wrong with me? Another main season and it's One World? Negative. This is how I will die. I would rather eat glass than have to fucking message 25 people I don't care about. On another note, I love my tribe high key. Aesthetically, we're a really great looking tribe. We could all be models tbh. We all get along really well so if we go to tribal, I'll probably just tell everyone to vote me out, for my mental health and theirs hahahaha save them the trouble. Nah, jk I'll fight, but I don't want to think about like voting any of them out? I def feel closest to Mark, but I really enjoy Dani and Ryan's banter. Junior is so cute too ugh haha. I'm just happy I'm not with the other ugly asses on other tribes

ugh i hate doing these things but im gonna try and be better if i flop this season im deleting skype tbh. This cast is going to give me a solid chance to go deep i feel like. Ryan Billy Dan all want to be my F2, madison is close with me, dani and sarah have both expressed interest in going deep together tribes were picked and holy frick is this tribe incredible. Ryan and Dan and Dani all were in my top 5 of who i wanted to be in a tribe with and junior is actually dope as fuck. i just hope we dont lose and have to vote someone out. especially the first round bc junior is safe so id have to decide between dan dani and ryan and id probably self vote if that was the case

So now I’m like 200% not even gonna try to work with Mark or Dan or Ryan. They’re all on the same tribe. Which means they’re gonna make a final three and that’s something I don’t want to be anywhere near. That’s a dumpster fire that I do not want to be a part of. What sucks even more is, Mark told me I was number one of his list. But Dan was picked by him before I was. So clearly he lied to me. But to add insult to injury, I was picked last for a tribe. So I was literally no one’s number 1. So that sucks, a lot. I guess that’s a fun way to start the season. “Way to go! No one likes you enough to be your #1!” Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. It just makes me have the “anyone but me” mindset even more than I already have. 

Hello new tribe. I am content with the outcome. On one hand, it sucks that I ended in 5th or 6th place, but on the other hand, the draft was rather revealing. I planned to pick KEVIN while he picks DANI, but Dani is soo fucking popular, that she was the absolute first pick - and then she picked Ryan over both Kevin and I. That definitely alerts me, but oh well, I don't blame her or anyone, she's lovely. I am happy that I wasn't the last pick of my tribe, because that would have sucked a lot. Instead, I get to be around BRANDAN, who I actually want to work together with for the time being. RUTHIE picked me, which I am really grateful for, but there is no guaranteed to know how far up I actually was on her list, but at least 6 others were behind me. Now I picked LUCY. Which is a good thing. She rocks at challenges. But she's definitely on the bottom of the totem pole here. I would prefer to vote out JULIAN first if we ever go to TC as this tribe, but for that, Ruthie needs to like Lucy more than the guy who picked her... Either way, let's win challenges somehow and not worry about that. The people I care for should be okay..? Dani will be safe. JUNIOR will be safe by default. Orange tribe will be fun to watch, because I care about everyone but BILLY on there (sorry honey). I am actually scared for my #1 Kevin rn, because JOEY and MADISON are together, which is scary, and neither of them picked him... So he could go first :( Either way, I need to stay on Brandans good side and I need to build up a strong bond with Ruthie, so I can keep Lucy around...

VL CONFESSIONAL HOLY MOTHER OF GOD NVGHHYGCSZAAAWSDDXF I’M SAFEEEEEEEEEE. I’m honestly so happy about it. I gave it my all and I’m honestly shook. And then I realized Madison and I are on the same tribe... Welcome to the plotline of the season.

I have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

VL CONFESSIONAL So yeah for this challenge Pussydestroyer69@yahoo.com is taken. Fun.

I'm not really sure how I stand with my tribe. Currently my main connection is Andreas, but I know I can't just rely on him. He was picked before I was and he could easily just let me go if I'm in the way of him getting to the first tribe swap. We seem to be doing well in the challenge, and I hope we do win. I personally at least kind of feel like the outsider, and I don't know the connections the others have with one another, so hopefully this gives me time to build a connection with them before we go to tribal.

alright so first off, fuck y’all for giving us this challenge. you’re gonna make me sit here all day reblogging a post because i’m competitive, but we’re probably going to lose because my tribe sucks. like i was the only one doing it for 2 hours. kill me. let’s talk about my tribe real quick. i think kevin is genuinely with me with is good. but when i got put on this tribe, dan messaged me saying that joey, madison, and isaiah are a friend group. i knew that joey and madison were “dating”, but the isaiah thing worries me because if it’s true, then um they have the majority. i’m trying to stay close with joey too since we played zwooper together before. i just really need to bank that him and Kevin would stick with me over the others if we go to tribal. um but i wish i was on a tribe with my same city sister, dani, or with Ryan. let me just say something about Ryan... yo why he gotta do me like this? when i saw ryan in this cast i thought omg that’s the cute ryan but he probably won’t pay me much attention... flash forward to last night when we ditched the main call to call one on one and basically called all night. ummm, are we about to have a survivor showmance? probably not, boys like to ghost me all the time so i don’t expect much but that boy is about to have me WHIPPED i just know it. anyways let’s hope i don’t lose the first challenge because i literally ALWAYS go to tribal first in orgs 

YAY! My tribe pulled out a win. I wish we would have gotten an idol clue but a win is a win and I will take it!! In all honesty it seems like Brandan, Andreas and I did all the work, but maybe Julian and Lucy did things too and just weren't... vocal about it. Lucy has talked to me one on one a bit but I don't know if she knows what she's doing haha. As for Julian, I really like him but he's been SO quiet, not talking in the tribe chat and not being very talkative via PM so we'll see. Right now I feel the closest with Brandan and Andreas and I hope that the three of us can maybe form some kind of alliance. I really hope that Kevin and Jake will be safe! I like Madison and Isasiah (I spent five minutes trying to remember how to spell that name and I still can't get it GRR) but I haven't talked to them as much as the others. I guess we'll see what happens haha! 

so julian can talk in the one world but not our tribe chat... interesting... although i can't talk. i BARELY ever talk in the one world aSLFJLSF

Well we came in first for the first challenge! I tried sooooo hard and I have never reblogged so much in my entire life. The tribe that came in last has two of my allies on it and I’m pretty sure they are in the minority. Madison, joey, and isiah have an alliance apparently. But Jake did tell me that Joey came to him and wanted to get Isaiah out. I really hope he isn’t fucking with him because I need Jake and Kevin to stay in the game!! So far I really love my tribe. I wouldn’t even know who to get rid of if it came down to it. I think Dans the least person I’ve talked to on my tribe. I should probably keep talking to people who aren’t on my tribe aside from jake/Kevin/Tom/Sarah. And I should probably start talking strategy but I like where I am so far social wise. 

My tribe is so fucking united it’s scary. We all just gel really well and literally called for an obscene amount of time this weekend. I really love Dani, we haven’t connected too much in pms yet, but she gives off such good vibes. I feel like she’s definitely a social threat, but maybe by aligning with her she can bring up my social game a little. I desperately need to talk to more than just my tribe mates, but honestly the only other person who attempts to talk to me is Tom, and he’s just kind of forward and weird. Like he asked to share idol clues and I was like....okay sis out of the blue. Idk just seems kinda shady. Pennekamp, or as I like to call them Pasta tribe, losing is honestly my kink. I really hope that someone from the friend group goes home, but honestly it might be Jake or Kevin going. Madison and Joey are for sure an alliance bc of hos22, and then I know Isaiah is friends with Madison bc she was talking about him on call one day in another game, so. Let’s hope one of them flips and one of those 3 gets the damn boot. 

Being on the Robinson Riptides tribe is lit af. Why? Mark and I are on the same tribe, so I have my number one, and then Dani picked me and I know she is a close ally as well. Plus now that we won the first challenge, Junior does not have immunity in the next round and in the event we go to tribal next round, he would be my first target on our tribe. I like Dan, but def not someone I want to take deep in the game, seems like a large threat. Who knows, could easily use him for a number. Also, I love Tom. I am so happy he is back with me in this game after playing in Mykonos. I don't think people understand how close we are, and I want to down play that as much as possible. He is my secret go to persona and I'm going to keep that hush hush for now. We are trying to get our sides to merge into an alliance while the one world business is still going on. Goal: Tom gets Sarah to want to make a chat with either myself, Dani, or Mark. And if this happens, then we have five people with great connections outside but also people I would want to work with for this portion of the game. Also, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THIS IDOL CLUE BEING USELESS AF? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN? LIKE ACTUALLY EXPLAIN? HOW IS THIS CLUE SUPPOSE TO HELP ME? CUZ IT DOES NOT!

Yay, Immunity. The Pacific Panthers are so boring as a tribe. The chat is dead. Is it because of timezones? Is it because of age diversity? This tribe has it all! Lucy is still new to TS, Ruthie is busy most of the time when I'm around. Brandan and I don't mean too well rn.... And Julian? He is wearing Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility! Either way, I hope Kevin survives F20 TC, as he is a valuable pawn and friend to me already. I'd expect Isaiah to go here, even if Madison might be the smartest move, but it's too early for big moves I feel. See ya next round!

Okay this game is NOT back to basics Johnny, it's back to hell. Schoolyard pick tribes, messy players, ONE WORLD, it's just an absolute cluster truck. I'm doing well for myself though. Getting 4th gave me the opportunity to set myself up well with Sarah and getting lucky with Billy should make me safe on this small tribe for awhile. How I'm not happy to see Madison here though. I'm afraid there's going to be a gun pointed at me by her the entire time, so I'm thinking I'll be forced to go after her before anyone else when given the opportunity. I just have to keep conversation high, keep game level talk at a medium, and eventually get taken out by an idol/twist

https://youtu.be/wpsiisk5lQQ

So big surprise, I'm going to tribal first. Joey is getting on my nerves idk why he even signs up for these games if he's always working but anyways. He's safe so I have to play the role of the devoted housewife to save face. As of now the vote is on Isaiah which sucks because he is definitely an ally for me, but at the end of the day our tribe and the game in general needs strength and commitment. Ugh why must my tribe be so iconic. 

OK SOOOOOOO Basically my paranoid ass has convinced myself I’m going home already, but let me walk you through why SO Isaiah is just super inactive, not to the point where he is NEVER here but just considerably less when comparing him to myself or others and so me jake Madison and joey all talked among ourselves and in various 1 on 1 and came to the conclusion we are voting him out, ALLEGEDLY! but ever since this tribe started the rumor of Madison Joey and Isaiah being friends has been brought up SO many times so that is just engrained in my head, now I’m probably over thinking this part but it makes sense to me, if Isaiah purposefully was being less responsive to provoke the instinct in me and Jake to vote him out, perhaps he has an idol or perhaps he is just fine being the decoy vote among the three and it helps that friend group manage the votes if they know who/how we are voting and it makes me and jake feel “safe” which could lead to the not playing of an idol SHOULD either of us have one and get suspicious. THEN after we have this “set” plan I guess Isaiah told Madison that he was voting for Jake, and Madison told him to continue the lie of being open and honest to the 2 of us so we don’t suspect anything, now if he WERE voting Jake and Jake had an idol I think he’d be impulsive and paranoid (like me) enough to play it and THEN those 3 would in all actuality be voting me, leaving me defenseless and alone, flushing Jakes non-existent idol (it exists theoretically though) and then I go home first boot 3-2. So yeah I don’t feel good but I’ll never feel good I also just scarfed down from chick fil a and now I have to poop. Anyways I will be casting my vote was Isaiah later tonight because that is the only move I can make and pray that my show watching, self loathing attitude has made such a positive impact on Madison and Joey that they want to keep me around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

apparently isaiah wants to vote me out after being inactive for 2 days... bitch suck my taint. everyone else says they're voting isaiah so umm fingers crossed?? a bitch is nervous af regardless bc i will cry if i flop and get 20th

[avoidcrow]

So I was finally able to play Breath of the Wild recently! I’m a huuuuuge Zelda fan so here’s my thoughts under the cut

Totally just my personal opinion though so no pressure to agree with me!

Main Quest/Story: 8/10 Fantastic, loved every bit of the main storyline. It was cute, sad, funny, and delivered to the player in a way that I found unique. Loved discovering the memories and piecing it all back together, and the way it tied into the main series timeline. This Zelda was extremely likable, and the champions (maybe except Revali) and their descendants were wonderful too The Divine Beasts were mostly fun, I loved the expansion on the idea of changing the dungeons around like in MM. Made you think outside the box a bit. Could've been a bit longer, or had more of them One critique, I would have liked the (currently alive) supporting characters to have a more emotional weight to the story, it felt kind of anti-climactic to finish everything but Calamity Ganon just to have Impa tell me to get going. Or any time after getting onto a Divine Beast only to have my guide fuck off somewhere for very flimsy reasons

Also Yiga Clan quest was great but their presense got worse instead of better. Happy to get new weapons from them but this is an anti-reward and it makes this suck a bit. If I'd known this was going to happen I would've waited until the last possible second to complete it

Sidequests/Collecting/etc.: 5/10 Majority of sidequests are fetch quests with kind of poor payoff, usually something I could have gotten on my own easier than the thing I got for them in the first place. Found ALL of the romantic ones kind of depressing or uncomfortable? Why are Gerudo women going into these kind of resigned relationships

I really like the shrine challenges and finding Koroks, and the little challenges scattered about, they’re super fun to come across

Gameplay: 7/10 Exploration aspect is definitely the best part. I love how much there is to see and do, lots of little things to find, but very little you actually have to do. The freedom is immensely satisfying. I beat the main storyline and am still quite happy wandering around and looking for nothing specific Combat is mostly enjoyable, but could have used a few more unique items like ones earned from dungeons in past games, and I found the variation in enemies a little disappointing. Personally got sick of most enemies being either aggressive animals or 'biped with weapon' types, most didn't require much skill beyond remembering to eat and having enough weapons. Guardians were GREAT, would like more in that style that require extra awareness and strategy like wallmasters, bari, baba, helmasaurs, redead, etc. Cooking was cool, I thought it was gonna suck but it was creative and fun I really don't care for the weapon breaking mechanic. I think once you get to metal items you should at least be able to repair them, it's not like metal corrodes into splinters upon contact with flesh. We have RL swords from the Viking Age, but Link takes out a few 'blins and that's it? Have you ever tried to break a drill-shaft?

Graphics: 9/10 I think they chose a great style for this one, very little in the way of complaints. There's some weird shadows and such now and then, but this is my favourite execution of cell shading I've seen so far. Love that everything is bright and colourful, no ugly post-apocalyptic brown overload Looks great I did see this one overlaid crack in one the labyrinths that looked like a N64 graphic, it was impressively bad. This isn’t affecting my score I just don’t understand what happened here, everything else looked fine

Music: 6/10 There are some wonderful tracks in this game, but unfortunately that's about it. The music DOES suit the game very well while you're playing, but I find the music not up to the current standard of Zelda tunes. They lack that catchy 'you were working on the Forest Temple so that's all you're gonna be humming today' magic of previous series entries I got the soundtrack because I liked it while playing, but not so much on its own. Objectively good music I guess, but not really fun to listen to in my opinion

Other: No score needed, just rambles I love the clothes options - my boyfriend is doing a nudist wildman run and it’s hilarious The English voice acting was eegh Wolf Link is my best friend Crazy flower lady made me want to die, but she neglected to kill me entirely so I guess I just have to suffer STOP RAINING Oh my god the dragons I almost cried they're so pretty

Overall: 7/10 Great game with a few problems, but I’m having a blast and it’s generally awesome! Probably not in my top three Zeldas, but definitely like it better overall than Skyward Sword I'm really having fun, but I am pretty aware that once I run out of things to explore I probably won't wanna go back for awhile. The good parts don't stack up high enough next to my favourite Zelda series games, and if given the choice, I'd probably rather replay Majora's Mask or Twilight Princess instead

[roominthecastle]

what are your favorite petyr quotes? book vs show

Wow, anon, you’re NOT making this easy for me AT ALL. oh lorde, there are so many.

ok, quotes from the books that sadly did not make it into the show: I love all the “classics” that artworks often utilize, e.g.

“Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow.”

“Is it all lies, forever and ever, everyone and everything?”“Almost everyone. Save you and I, of course.”

“Some lies are love.”

“I know what I know, and so do you. Some things are best left unsaid, sweetling.”

“There are two sorts of people. The players and the pieces. Every man’s a piece to start with, and every maid as well. Even some who think they are players.”

“We shall serve him lies and Arbor gold, and he’ll drink them down and ask for more, I promise you.”

“When you know what a man wants you know who he is, and how to move him.”

“Those are your gifts from me, my sweet Sansa… Harry, the Eyrie, and Winterfell. That’s worth another kiss now, don’t you think?”

and some others:

“Try not to fall to your death, Catelyn wouldnever understand.“

“A fool I may be, Stark… yet I’m still here,while your brother has been moldering in his frozen grave for some fourteenyears now. If you are so eager to molder beside him, far it be from me todissuade you, but I would rather not be included in the party, thank you verymuch.”“You would be the last man I would willinglyinclude in any party, Lord Baelish.”“You wound me deeply.”

“I am desperately sentimental, sweet lady. Bestnot tell anyone. I have spent years convincing the court that I am wicked andcruel, and I should hate to see all that hard work go for naught.” Ned believed not a word of that, but he kept his voicepolite as he said, “You have my thanks as well, Lord Baelish.”“Oh, now there’sa treasure,” Littlefinger said, exiting.

“The Lineages and Histories of the GreatHouses of the Seven Kingdoms, With Descriptions of Many High Lords and NobleLadies  and Their Children. Now there is a tedious reading if ever I sawit. A sleeping potion, my lord?““JonArryn was studying this volume when he was taken sick,” Ned said.“Inthat case death must have come as a blessed relief.”

“Ido not trust him.”“Excellent.You’re learning.”

“Evena blind man could see the Hound loathed his brother.”“Ah,but Gregor was his to loath, notyours to kill. I wouldn’t hold my water waiting for his thanks.”

“Isuppose congratulations are in order.”Nedscowled. “The king lies wounded and near to death.”“Iknow.”

“How big a fool do you take me for?”“Well,quite an enormous one, actually.”“Do you always find murder so amusing, Lord Baelish?”“It’snot murder I find amusing, Lord Stark, it’s you. You rule like a man dancing onrotten ice. I daresay you will make a noble splash.”

GrandMaester Pycelle gaped at him, aghast. “Surely you do not mean to suggestthat Lady Selyse would ask a foolinto her bed?”“DoubtlessPatchface reminded her of Stannis.”

“Black brings outmy unhealthy pallor.”“Youlook very elegant today, my lord.”“I’mwounded. I strive to look elegant everyday.”

“Ibelieve Lord Petyr may hold the key to the Eyrie.““Oh,I do. I have it here between my legs.”

“Tidesand brides wait on no man, my lord. Once the autumn storms begin, the voyagewill be much more hazardous. Drowning would definitely diminish my charms as abridegroom.”

“Widowhoodwill become you, Sansa.”

“Itis surprisingly difficult to hide a dwarf, and Joffrey… you can lead a kingto water, but with Joff one had to splash it about before he realized he coulddrink it.”

“LordRobert cannot sleep. He cries…”“…for his mother. That cannot be helped, the wench is dead.”

“Isthat your counsel, maester? That we find a wet nurse for the Lord of the Eyrieand Defender of the Vale? When shall we wean him, on his wedding day? That wayhe can move directly from his nurse’s nipples to his wife’s. No, I think not.”

“Godsforbid they glimpse me near the high seat of the Arryns, they might think thatI mean to sit in it. Cheeks born so low as mine must never aspire to such loftycushions.”

“Inthe game of thrones even the humblest pieces can have wills of their own.Sometimes they refuse to make the moves you’ve planned for them. Mark thatwell, Alayne. It’s a lesson that Cersei Lannister still has yet to learn.”

“Hissister Alys wed Ser Elys Waynwood, uncle to the present Lady Waynwood.” Hemade a wry face. “Elys and Alys. Isn’t that precious?”

… and loads more, really. I could copy/paste every chapter that includes him. He’s one of the most entertaining and intriguing characters I’ve ever encountered, and Aidan was THE perfect casting choice.

the favs from the show (some of these were taken from the books, so I did not include them above): again, a non-exhaustive list

“Ahthe Starks. Quick tempers, slow minds.”

“Distrustingme was the wisest thing you’ve done since you climbed off your horse.”

“WhenI was a child, I was very small. And I come from a little spit of land calledthe Fingers, so you see… it’s an exceedinglyclever nickname.”

“Tellme, Lord Renly, when will you be havingyour friend?”

“Alldesires are valid to a man with a full purse.”

“Brothelsmake a much better investment than ships, I found. Whores rarely sink.”

“I’ll never win. Not that way. That’s their game. Their rules. I’m notgoing to fight them. I’m going to fuck them. That’s what I know. That’s what Iam.”

“Idid warn you not to trust me.”

“Wehave enough wheat for a 5-year winter. If it lasts any longer… we’ll havefewer peasants.”

“Ihate bad investments. They haunt me.”

“Iunderstand that you don’t like me, and, while that saddens me greatly, I do notcome here today seeking your affection.”

“Ifwar were arithmetic, the mathematicians would rule the world.”

“Callme Petyr.”

“Strange,isn’t it. It doesn’t matter what we want, once we get it, then we wantsomething else.”

“Chaosisn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get totry again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb but theyrefuse. They cling to the realm. Or the gods. Or love. Illusions. Only theladder is real. The climb is all there is.”

“Moneybuys a man’s silence for a time. A bolt in the heart buys it forever.”

“Aman with no motive is a man no one suspects. Always keep your foes confused. Ifthey don’t know who you are or what you want, they can’t know what you plan todo next.”

“I don’t want friends like me.”

“Knowyour strengths, use them wisely, and one man can be worth ten thousand.”

“Alot can happen between now and never.”

“Given the opportunity, what do we do to those who’ve hurt the ones welove? In a better world, one where love could overcome strength and duty, youmight have been my child. But we don’t live in that world.“

“Ihave only loved one woman, only one, my entire life… Your sister.”

“Hersuicide shattered us all.”

“Peopledie at their dinner tables. They die in their beds. They die squatting over theirchamber pots. Everybody dies sooner or later. Don’t worry about your death.Worry about your life. Take charge of your life for as long as it lasts.”

“You’vebeen running all your life. Terrible things happen to your family and you weep.You sit alone in a darkened room mourning their fates. You’ve been a bystanderto tragedy from the day they executed your father. Stop being a bystander, doyou hear me? Stop running. There’s no justice in the world. Not unless we makeit. You loved your family. Avenge them.”

“Iknow how hard it is to live with people you despise, believe me.”

“Eventhe most dangerous men can be outmaneuvered. And you’ve learned to maneuverfrom the very best. You’ll be strong without me.”

“Weboth peddle fantasies, Brother Lancel. Mine just happen to beentertaining.”

“One’schoice of companion is a curious thing.“ 

"You,my love, are the future of House Stark.”

“Everyoneis your enemy. Everyone is your friend.”

“Not even a thank you? Ifit weren’t for me, you’d have been slaughtered on that battlefield.”

and last but not least, his last words:

“Iloved you more than anyone. Sansa.”

[monasatlantis]

Final Review of Trails of Cold Steel 4 (Don’t search for the review of act 3, there is non!)

So yesterday I finished Trails of Cold Steel 4 and that means it is time for my final review for the game that finished the Cold Steel - Saga and brought a happy ending for this wretched fairytale XD

Spoiler for all Trails - Games including Hajimari!

Lets start with saying that all in all I absolutely agree with those people who said that CS4 has some of the best scenes in the whole series, but all in all is just so-so otherwise.

As you’ve read in my previous reviews, I had a lot of trouble with the pacing of this game this time. It was too slow, then too fast, then suddenly slow again, then suddenly fast again and... you get it. Act 3 was over so fast that I couldn’t believe it was actually over already, while I almost died of boredom in act 1. And its not just the pacing that it was the problem, but also the way the plot was delivered. I mean, from the end of CS3 to the final day of CS4 its been only two months and we barely played one month of those two months and it felt extremely rushed in a weird way. Saving Rean, finding missing Friends, rushing into the the first rivalries and all that in an in-game-week or so. It felt longer and it should have been longer. Even with the Courageous 2 at our disposal it seems impossible to walk though half of Erebonia for all those hidden-missions and so on in one day, enjoy some quality-time with your army of Friends and lovely Ladys in between and then rush to the next Shrine (which is a huge dungeon with hard bossfights by the way...), that you have to free from some sort of barrier first and all that in one freaking day. And while your enemies are so exhausted from the fights that they collapse. we go on, rush though the dungeon, fight monsters, win against the next boss and all we need is this healing-station-thingy and a few spells. Damn are we good!

Fun fact: There was some extremely unnecessary padding in this game, despite the fact that the plot was delivered in such a rush-rush way. Or was it really necessary to run through 5 overlong highways to talk to 3 different people, who all tell you thinks you already knew, just to find a place full of scarlet pleroma grass wish you are supposed to stake but only AFTER someone fights you and THEN makes you fight against a diving knight? While I was searching for a plot, those 3 people that are left of Zephyr were asking the guy who was wanted by the Empire to randomly join them. Huh? Lets not talk about all the necessary stuff you had to do to finally get into the Einhel Keep, when you were freeing Leeves. Or our little adventure though 5 of those Salt Pale towers, with overpowered teams and unnecessary fighting as leveling these guys up didn’t really bring you much for the rest of the game...

Boy was act 3 hard for being over so fast. Actually, I was playing on very easy and still found the game really hard. I mean, around every corner was either someone from Ouroboros, and Aion or a Diving Knight waiting for you. At some point in the game all 3 of those were waiting for you. How do those brave soldiers playing on Nightmare survive this game? And why isn’t Reans damn S-Craft killing everyone in one blow anymore? I was counting on that! XD

I am not going to talk about how they pushed New Class7 on us every given chance anymore. I am just saying that I was really disappointed because I thought they managed the whole “new class7″ and “old class7″ and “Rean belonging to both” thing so well in CS3 and I think they really fucked that up in CS4. I can not believe that they actually dared to say that new class7 is stronger then old class7, given how much more experience old class7 had. Or the way they constantly wanted to portray that new Class7 knew Rean better, even after barely half a year with him as their homeroom teacher... If they think that CS1 and CS2 and old Class7 sucked, then they shouldn’t have made those games!

I say it again I think the Bonding-Event-System sucked! What if I simply want to be friends with those girls for gods sake? I get that Rean is an hopeless oblivious player that deserves a few more trademark glares from Alisa and all... but do I really have to kiss myself though the girls, when I only want to be friends with them? In the end, I basically avoided almost all of them once more and that is really something Falcom has to work on of they want to keep the bonding-system. Personally, I do not dislike the bonding-systems. Relationships make more sense this way, but I want it to be MY choice if I want to allow Laura to kiss Rean or not. And if I have to skip all her events to avoid that, then this is not the right way to do that. Point.

I think Falcom could not handle the extreme mass of characters they thew at us. Which makes you wonder why they added Duvalie, after getting rid of Millium for the time being. Not to mention Crow or being allowed to use Tita and Randy and Sharon and sometimes even Celine. Once again, I hope they learn from that and don’t give a game that many playable characters again. I think the Crossbell-Saga handled that a lot better, even tho their cast wasn’t that small either - but they weren’t all playable, if you get what I mean. Plus... seeing how half the playable cast of Liberl and Crossbell came to our aid in CS4... how will they managed to pull that of with Reans team? Especially given that his new class7 has graduated by the time the Calvard-Arc starts.

Achem... enough with the bad. Lets say some good stuff about the game. I will stay away from “good music” as this is a given for me in Trails-Games. Tho I have to say CS3, was not just the best game so far in the saga, it also had the most amazing soundtrack. Still, the other Trails games weren’t bad with their soundtracks either, so I think it is worth mentioning that CS4 did really well with that too.

As I said at the start of this review. Some of the most amazing-scenes of the series were in this game. I mean yes, we have those memorable moments like when Joshua and Estelle finally were back together in Sky2 and so on. But in terms of amazing-ness CS4 takes the cake and eats it. Aside from the walking and talking part I think the whole part of act 2, were you are on the Pantagruel is just so amazing. I loved how the teams were reunited, how Rean finally was able to talk with Lloyd and how the teams were so harmonic with each other - just give me another round of Fie asking Estelle how far she already went with Joshua XD Or Elie and Alisa feeling the pain because they both fell in love with oblivious players XD Joshua being able to talk to Ash about Hamel. Having an all Girls and All Boys All-Star-Team to fight against Ouroboros. The return of Prince Olivert. Osborne stopping Cedric. B fighting on our side... it was amazing! The best scene in all Trails-Games so far in my eyes. But there were also a lot of other amazing scenes in this game. Not to mention the amazing Epilogue. First time the end of a Trails-Game made me feel whole.

I could write you an essay about how sick I am ob the “Sibling-Zoning” this game constantly pulls at me. Guys, Millium and Jusis are not the second favorite ship in japan (right after Crow and Rean and before Alisa and Rean) for having Siblings-Feelings for each other! The man-eating-tiger collapsing on top of princey-boy after she gave everything she had for him... because she sees him as a little brother? Yeah... right. Oh and by the way, riding a ferris wheel and watching the stars is not something you would do with your “little sister” if this was possible the last day of your life. This is something you would do with your girlfriend on the last possible day of your life. Which was wonderfully portrayed by Rean. There were a few scenes were the translation was changed to something that was less controversial and I do not like it!

I have cried like a Baby multiple times at the end of CS3 but I can not remember EVER playing a game that made me cry every damn chapter of it. CS4 was amazing when it comes to playing with may emotions one way or another. I cried of happiness, sadness and because I was proud or relieved multiple times throughout this game. It often were just a few tears, some of them stayed stuck in my eyes, but they were there regardless and I loved it. Even tho this game has a lot of flaws it still brought out the best of my emotions regarding all the characters we learned to love over the years. And the feeling of happyness for Rean and everyone else finally getting a happy ending was greater then I ever felt before in a game.

And for this alone, I still love this game.